AUGUST 20, 1959

Full News Archive

• Headline: Union Pay-Offs Allegations at Senate Hearing. Impact: Due to the scandal surrounding union pay-offs, a secret society of disgruntled former UAW officials formed, which eventually led to the creation of a highly unsuccessful motivational poster company. Their slogan? 'Get Paid, Stay Silent'.. Fact: Did you know that invoking the 5th Amendment is like saying 'I'm not saying I did it, but I definitely did it' in legalese?.
• Headline: Chelsea Tenants Rally Against Penn Station Plan. Impact: The Chelsea tenants' protest sparked a nationwide movement of tenant rights, eventually leading to the invention of the 'No More Bad Apartments' app, which only has one review: 'Still looking for a good place.'. Fact: Protesting in schools is a time-honored tradition. It's almost like kids learn from their parents that shouting is a perfectly valid way to negotiate..
• Headline: New Law Extends US Passport Validity. Impact: The passport bill's passage inadvertently led to a boom in travel agents who specialized in '3-year vacations', despite nobody really knowing what that means.. Fact: Three years? You could almost travel to Mars and back in that time—if only they had passports for that. Or maybe they do, but it’s classified..
• Headline: Jewish Philanthropies Selects Head for Drive. Impact: With the selection of a new head for Jewish Philanthropies, a secret competition started among philanthropists to see who could donate the most while still avoiding the taxman. Spoiler: It's still ongoing.. Fact: Philanthropy: the only sport where the win is measured in tax deductions and good PR!.
• Headline: Hogan Hits Envoys In Rio Over Birrell; HOGAN CRITICIZES U.S. AIDES IN RIO. Impact: Hogan's criticism of the U.S. Embassy in Rio prompted an international incident that resulted in a new diplomatic protocol: 'Don't Mess with Hogan'.. Fact: Criticizing the U.S. Embassy? Bold move, Hogan. You must really enjoy the taste of more paperwork!.
• Headline: Davey Moore Halts Bassey in 11th and Retains World Featherweight Title; NIGERIAN SUFFERS CUTS AROUND EYE Moore Connects With Lefts and Bassey Is Unable to Answer Bell for 11th. Impact: Davey Moore's title defense against Bassey inspired a series of motivational speeches encouraging people to 'get back up'—despite the fact that most people don't have to face a left hook every morning.. Fact: The 11th round is like the adulting of boxing—just when you think you can take a break, life throws another left hook..
• Headline: New Haven Color Scheme. Impact: The New Haven color scheme change triggered an unexpected trend in urban design, leading to a decade-long competition among cities to out-color each other. Spoiler: No one won.. Fact: Changing colors is a great way to ensure your city remains 'fresh'. Because who wouldn't want their town to look like a discount store?.
• Headline: Most Labor Chiefs Would Snub Russian -- Others Ask to Meet Him; Labor Divided on Khrushchev; Meany and Reuther Split. Impact: The division among labor chiefs over Khrushchev created a rift that led to a secret underground labor faction that only met during karaoke nights. Now, they exclusively sing 'I Will Survive'.. Fact: Labor disputes and karaoke? Sounds like the perfect combination for a reality TV show that nobody asked for!.
• Headline: U.S. CITES RISES IN STEEL PRICES, PAY AND PROFITS; But Mitchell's Report Draws No Conclusions on Strike -- He Urges Bargaining EACH SIDE HAILS DATA Secretary Says the Findings 'Indicate the Area Which Exists for Settlement' Mitchell Gives Steel-Strike Data But Refuses to Draw Conclusion. Impact: The rise in steel prices due to strike threats led to the formation of a black market for steel—ironically, run by people who were definitely not steelworkers.. Fact: Steel prices may rise, but the only thing that really drops is our faith in economic forecasts..
• Headline: Sports of The Times; The Spellbinder. Impact: The 'Spellbinder' column inadvertently inspired a new genre of literature known as 'boring sports commentary', which has since been banned in most public venues.. Fact: Sports commentary: where the excitement is strictly limited to the scoreboard and the snacks in the stands!.