AUGUST 17, 1959

Full News Archive

• Headline: Church Adaptation to Changing Communities. Impact: As churches adapted to changing communities, they inadvertently set the stage for hipster coffee shops to emerge in the 21st century, where lattes are served with a side of guilt about gentrification.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more flexible than a church's responsibilities is a politician’s promise?.
• Headline: Union Leaders Demand Import Restrictions. Impact: The union chiefs' push against 'sweatshop' imports actually led to the invention of the phrase 'sweat equity,' which is often used by those who are too lazy to do actual labor.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more rigid than import quotas is a union meeting at 8 AM on a Monday..
• Headline: Significant Drop in Jobless Claims. Impact: The drop in jobless claims led to a surge in people claiming to be 'self-employed' on social media, resulting in the widespread use of hashtags like #EntrepreneurLife.. Fact: Did you know that those 10 closed offices are now being transformed into chic co-working spaces for the next generation of freelancers?.
• Headline: BOY SCOUTS SEE WORLD; 82 Arrive Here After Trip Around Globe by Plane. Impact: The Boy Scouts' global tour inspired countless reality TV shows about travel, proving that nothing says 'character building' like a camera crew following you around.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing scarier than a global trip for 82 kids is the thought of what they might have eaten on that plane?.
• Headline: PRESIDENT HAILS ROLE OF HALSEY; Calls Admiral Outstanding Leader and Warm Friend -- Truman Pays Tribute. Impact: Truman's tribute to Halsey may have inadvertently inspired countless motivational posters that now grace the walls of corporate offices everywhere.. Fact: Fun fact: Eisenhower's warm feelings for Halsey were the original 'bromance' before it became a popular term in the 21st century..
• Headline: HARVARD PICKS EDITORS; Two Professors Appointed for Foreign Policy Library. Impact: Harvard's choice of editors for the Foreign Policy Library led to a series of academic debates that would eventually culminate in everyone arguing on social media instead.. Fact: Did you know that the real foreign policy debate happens every Thanksgiving when relatives argue about the best way to carve a turkey?.
• Headline: WIDE CHINESE AID TO ASIA REPORTED; Peiping's Outlay Said to Top Help It Gets From Soviet WIDE CHINESE AID TO ASIA REPORTED. Impact: China's aid to Southeast Asia set off a domino effect that led to the modern-day obsession with foreign aid, which in turn sparked a series of questionable reality shows about 'extreme altruism.'. Fact: Fun fact: China’s aid budget is basically a giant game of Monopoly, but with real-life consequences and fewer top hats..
• Headline: SOVIET TO ALLOW BUYING ON TIME; Installment Sales on More Expensive Items to Begin in Most of Country SOVIET TO ALLOW BUYING ON TIME. Impact: The introduction of installment buying in the Soviet Union laid the groundwork for future credit card debt – proving that financial woes know no ideology.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing Soviet citizens bought on time was disappointment?.
• Headline: DEMOCRATS' FIGHT ON TICKETS ENDED; Convention Accord Assures Los Angeles of Parley DEMOCRATS' FIGHT ON TICKETS ENDED. Impact: The Democrats' ticket fight resolution may have inadvertently led to a rise in organized chaos, inspiring future political conventions that resemble family reunions gone wrong.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more contentious than ticket disputes is trying to decide where to eat after the convention?.