JULY 16, 1959

Full News Archive

• Headline: Civil Rights Bill Advances in Senate Subcommittee. Impact: The passing of the Civil Rights Bill was like tossing a pebble into a pond. The ripples eventually led to the tidal wave of social change in the 60s and 70s. Who knew a skeleton measure would give birth to the Civil Rights Movement? Talk about a glow-up!. Fact: Fun Fact: The phrase 'Skeleton Measure' sounds more like a Halloween decoration than a legislative proposal. Maybe they should have just dressed it in a sheet!.
• Headline: Idlewild Airport Dispute Over Disaster Control. Impact: Idlewild Airport refusing city control during disasters led to a chain of events where airports worldwide began to believe they could operate like rebellious teenagers—'You can't tell me what to do!' This attitude inevitably resulted in some very creative emergency landings.. Fact: Did you know that Idlewild eventually became JFK Airport? Maybe the rebellious spirit was just a phase before it settled down into a more respectable identity..
• Headline: Massive Swindle: E.A. Deutsch Indictment. Impact: The $592,712 swindle sparked a series of fraudulent schemes that inspired future generations of con artists. Little did this egg wholesaler know, he was the father of modern-day scams that would make even the slickest telemarketer blush.. Fact: Did you know that E.A. Deutsch could have saved himself a lot of trouble by just selling omelets instead of forging documents? At least then he’d be cooking up something legitimate!.
• Headline: 100,000 LAID OFF IN CEMENT STRIKE; Big Payroll Loss Is Cited in Tie-Up of Trucks -- City Seeks to Renew Talks. Impact: The cement strike laid off 100,000 workers, which ultimately led to a nationwide reevaluation of worker rights. If only those concrete-mix drivers had known their actions would inspire future labor movements. They could have made a big impact instead of just 'striking' out.. Fact: Fun fact: 100,000 laid off workers is just a reminder that you should never trust a strike when there's a concrete shortage. The puns just write themselves!.
• Headline: JERSEY CITY SHAKE-UP; Murray Shuffles Officers in Finance Department. Impact: Murray shuffling officers in Jersey City's Finance Department after grand jury criticism is like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. Spoiler alert: it didn't change the fact that the ship was still sinking. But hey, at least they looked good while doing it!. Fact: Did you know that in the world of politics, a 'shake-up' often means 'let’s pretend we’re doing something without actually changing anything'? It’s basically the adult equivalent of rearranging your bedroom..
• Headline: Viertel, Writer, Is Divorced. Impact: The divorce of a writer named Viertel likely contributed to a plethora of heart-wrenching novels in the coming years. Who knew relationships could be such a source of inspiration? It’s like a never-ending cycle of love and literary angst.. Fact: Did you know that the best stories often come from heartbreak? So, thank you, Viertel’s ex, for inspiring countless future authors to turn their emotional pain into profit!.
• Headline: Ferry Gets Franchise It Overlooked in 1892. Impact: Obtaining a franchise after 58 years is a clear example of how bureaucracy can be slower than molasses in winter. This delay in recognition might have inspired future entrepreneurs to avoid paperwork like it was the plague. Who needs a franchise anyway?. Fact: Did you know that in 1892, while this ferry was operating without a franchise, people were still figuring out how to make the telephone work? Talk about poor timing!.
• Headline: STERILE ROOM DEVISED; Notre Dame Builds Plastic Chamber for Germ Study. Impact: The sterile room devised by Notre Dame was the precursor to all those sci-fi films where scientists play God. We can thank this innovative germ study for every mad scientist trope since. If only they knew the chaos they would unleash!. Fact: Fun fact: The sterile room probably had fewer germs than the average college dorm. Thank goodness they didn’t start experimenting in a frat house!.
• Headline: 4 Negro Areas Get Extra Police Units; POLICE REINFORCE 4 NEGRO SECTORS. Impact: Reinforcing police presence in four Negro areas not only highlighted community tensions but also set the stage for future protests and movements. It’s like they rolled out the welcome mat for civil unrest. Good job, guys!. Fact: Did you know that sometimes more police presence is like putting a band-aid on a broken leg? Spoiler: It doesn’t fix the underlying issues!.
• Headline: SOVIET OFFERS EXPERTS; Says It Has Enough Scientists for Under-Developed Lands. Impact: The Soviet Union's offer to lend scientists to under-developed lands was like a global game of 'hot potato.' It led to some interesting exchanges and alliances, proving that even in the Cold War, the Soviets were trying to play nice—sort of.. Fact: Fun fact: This is the same USSR that launched Sputnik. So, maybe they just wanted to share their brains, but only if they got to keep the tech for themselves..