JULY 13, 1959

Full News Archive

• Headline: Y.W.C.A. Fund Chief Receives New Name. Impact: Mrs. W.R. White's renaming as fund chief led to an increase in donations, which inadvertently funded a small-town bakery. This bakery would go on to be the birthplace of the infamous 'white bread revolt' of 1985, where citizens demanded more whole grain options.. Fact: Did you know that fundraising events often lead to more cake than actual funds? Just ask any charity event planner..
• Headline: Harriman Advocates Recognition of East Germany. Impact: Harriman's suggestion to recognize East Germany was the first domino in a series of events that led to a global debate on whether pineapple belongs on pizza. This ultimately divided nations and caused diplomatic tensions to rise.. Fact: Did you know that the Cold War might have been avoided if someone just brought Harriman a slice of pizza with no pineapple?.
• Headline: Citizens' Housing Unit Chooses New Chairman. Impact: The citizens' housing unit's choice of chairman was a direct precursor to the rise of the world's most boring reality show: 'Homeowners Association: The Struggle is Real'. Ratings were dismal.. Fact: Did you know that being a housing chairman is basically a volunteer job for people who love to make rules and enforce lawn care?.
• Headline: AIR FORCE MOVING MEDICINE SCHOOL; Enlarged Unit Shifting From Randolph to Brooks Base -- Dedication on Nov. 14. Impact: The Air Force's move of the medicine school led to an unexpected increase in 'top gun' themed medical dramas, which resulted in a generation of doctors who were more focused on their looks than their surgical skills.. Fact: Did you know that military medics are basically the superheroes of the real world? Just without capes and with a lot more paperwork..
• Headline: JOHNSON FORCES SUFFER SETBACK; Florida Delegation Backs Smathers as a Favorite Son in 1960 Primary. Impact: The Florida delegation's support for Smathers over Johnson was a turning point that led to the creation of a secret society of politicians who meet annually to discuss how to avoid early ballots. They still argue over who gets the last slice of pizza.. Fact: Did you know that favorite son candidacies are basically political prom king campaigns? Everyone wants the title but no one wants to do the actual work..
• Headline: Kozlov, at Close of Tour, Predicts a Socialist U. S.; Agrees With Khrushchev on Change -- Repeats Soviet Bid to Settle German Question, but Omits Past Threats KOZLOV PREDICTS A SOCIALIST U. S.. Impact: Kozlov's prediction of a socialist U.S. triggered a bizarre series of events including the rise of a cult following dedicated to interpreting his words. They held weekly meetings, but no one really knew what they were discussing.. Fact: Did you know that predicting the future is a great way to get people to hang on your every word? Just ask any fortune teller..
• Headline: KERALA RED SEES HANDS-OFF POLICY; Namboodiripad Leaves Talks With Government Leaders in 'Full Confidence'. Impact: Namboodiripad's confidence in a hands-off policy led to an increase in government intervention debates that spiraled into a national obsession with what constitutes 'hands-off'. This resulted in a bizarre trend of people trying to avoid touching anything in public.. Fact: Did you know that politicians often prefer 'hands-off' policies because it means they can avoid actually doing anything productive?.