MAY 5, 1959

Full News Archive

• Headline: Jewish Sculpture Exhibit in NYC. Impact: The exhibit showcasing Jewish sculpture inadvertently inspired future generations to create sculptures of very mundane objects, like toasters and garden gnomes, to much less fanfare.. Fact: Sculptors have been known to argue over the best material; some consider marble the gold standard, while others swear by recycled yogurt containers..
• Headline: Oil Imports Board Rejects Major Appeals. Impact: The Oil Imports Board's stubbornness sparked a secret underground movement of oil smugglers who ultimately became the world's most well-informed conspiracy theorists.. Fact: Oil companies have more rules than a competitive eating contest, and just like those contestants, they often leave with a stomachache..
• Headline: U.S. GOLD OUTFLOW NOTED IN BRITAIN; Some Predict Strong Action in 'Crisis' -- London Reports Large Gain in Reserves. Impact: The gold outflow from the U.S. led to a series of baffling economic decisions, including the creation of the 'Gold Is Just a Fad' movement among hipsters in the 1970s.. Fact: Gold was once so valuable that people used to bury it in their backyards, only to forget where they put it—much like the common household sock..
• Headline: NIXON CALLS AID FOR INDIA VITAL; Says Her Growth May Mean More Than Berlin Talks -Kennedy Urges Help. Impact: Nixon's call for aid to India inadvertently triggered a global trend of politicians using analogies about Berlin to sound important, even when utterly irrelevant.. Fact: Politicians love to throw around historical references, often resulting in baffled audiences and a surge in history book sales..
• Headline: World Bank Reserves Increased By 51 Millions in Nine Months. Impact: The increase in World Bank reserves set off a chain reaction of economists throwing parties, convinced they were the new rock stars of finance.. Fact: Economists have been known to celebrate with confetti made of shredded dollar bills—just to keep it classy..
• Headline: Strike Affects Buenos Aires. Impact: The general strikes in Buenos Aires inspired a pop culture movement that led to a series of poorly made movies about strikers who just wanted a nap.. Fact: Strikes are like the ultimate power nap; everyone wakes up feeling refreshed, but the aftermath is always messy..
• Headline: Steel Dealers Elect Chief. Impact: Electing a new chief in the steel dealers' organization inadvertently set off a rivalry that would lead to a reality TV show called 'Steel Wars: The Iron Games.'. Fact: Steel dealers have intense meetings that often resemble a heated game of poker, but with fewer chips and more spreadsheets..
• Headline: Books of The Times. Impact: W.P. Webb's book review on history writing led to a bizarre trend of authors overanalyzing the history of staplers and their impact on modern literature.. Fact: Books on history writing are often more entertaining than the actual histories they discuss, much like watching paint dry while listening to a lecture on paint drying..