FEBRUARY 8, 1959

Full News Archive

• Headline: Unity in Hemisphere Affairs Advocated by Johnson. Impact: Johnson's call for unity inadvertently leads to a secret society of diplomats who meet in secret to discuss how to avoid awkward family reunions at the next hemisphere gathering.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more complicated than unifying policies across the Americas is trying to find a single flavor of ice cream that everyone can agree on?.
• Headline: Atlantic Coast Line Introduces ‘American Plan’ Diner. Impact: The introduction of the 'American Plan' meal service causes a nationwide debate on whether a hot dog counts as a gourmet meal, leading to a rise in 'gourmet' food trucks.. Fact: Fun fact: When train food was first introduced, it was so bad that passengers considered throwing it out the window a form of modern art..
• Headline: The Rise of Hydrofoil Boating. Impact: The rise of hydrofoiling inspires a new Olympic sport: extreme hydrofoil racing, where competitors try to race while balancing a plate of nachos.. Fact: Did you know that hydrofoils were originally designed to help people feel like they were flying? Too bad they forgot to add the 'no falling' guarantee!.
• Headline: MALARIA FIGHT LAGS; U. N. Health Agency Notes Shortage of Needed Funds. Impact: The funding shortfall leads to an unexpected collaboration between mosquito scientists and crowdfunding platforms, resulting in the world’s first mosquito-themed Kickstarter campaign.. Fact: Malaria has been around for thousands of years, proving that some diseases are just as persistent as your aunt who keeps asking when you’re getting married..
• Headline: U. S. Arms Arrive in Tunis. Impact: This arms shipment sets off a chain reaction of military acquisitions, ultimately leading to the invention of the world's least necessary weapon: the rubber band slingshot.. Fact: Did you know that arms shipments often come with a side of political drama? It's like the action movie nobody asked for but everyone gets dragged into..
• Headline: CUSTOMS POST STARTED; Costa Rica and Nicaragua to Operate Joint Facility. Impact: The joint customs post inadvertently leads to the creation of a 'Best Neighbor' award, sparking a friendly competition over who can build the most ridiculous border statue.. Fact: Customs posts are like the DMV of international relations—nobody enjoys the experience, but everyone knows it’s necessary..
• Headline: Grant for a New College. Impact: The $25,000 grant leads to the unexpected establishment of a college dedicated to the study of obscure cheese varieties, resulting in the first-ever Cheese Olympics.. Fact: Did you know that educational grants are often like fairy godmothers? They show up, sprinkle some money, and suddenly you have a college dedicated to cheese!.
• Headline: SANDVIG IN FRONT IN SPEED SKATING; Holds 2-Point Lead Over 2 Olympic Team-Mates in North American Meeting. Impact: Sandvig's lead motivates a new training regime that involves wearing roller skates in grocery stores to improve agility—an idea that catches on more than expected.. Fact: Speed skating: the only sport where it's perfectly acceptable to wear skin-tight suits and still demand respect. Who knew fashion could be so fast?.