JANUARY 18, 1959

Full News Archive

• Headline: C T Matthews Appointed Town Attorney. Impact: The appointment of C T Matthews as Town Attorney led to an unprecedented number of legal disputes over the correct interpretation of 'town' versus 'city', causing confusion that would echo for decades and inspire a popular game show: 'Who's the Real Town Attorney?'. Fact: Did you know that becoming a town attorney is basically just a glorified way of saying 'I can write you a ticket for being too loud during a barbecue'?.
• Headline: Castro's Iconic Rifle Stolen in Havana. Impact: The theft of Castro's rifle set off a series of unfortunate events. The rifle was later found in a flea market and mistakenly sold as a prop for a low-budget action movie, which unwittingly inspired a generation of rebels with really bad taste in film.. Fact: Did you know that in the world of revolutionary symbols, losing a rifle is like losing your favorite pair of socks? You never know how much you need it until it's gone!.
• Headline: What the Years Ahead Might Bring; LANDMARKS OF TOMORROW. By Peter F. Drucker. 270 pp. New York: Harper & Bros. $4.50.. Impact: Drucker's 'Landmarks of Tomorrow' sparked a chain reaction of futurists trying to predict the next big thing, leading to the invention of the crystal ball app for smartphones—too bad it only tells you when the Wi-Fi will drop.. Fact: Did you know that the price of $4.50 for a book in 1964 is equivalent to about $38 today? Thank goodness inflation didn't ruin the literary world… oh wait..
• Headline: Latin America's Problems; Our Failure to Implement 1951 Eisenhower Report Noted. Impact: The failure to implement the Eisenhower Report led to a series of conferences that debated the same problems for the next 70 years, proving that sometimes the best solution is just to keep talking and doing absolutely nothing.. Fact: Did you know that R G Mead Jr's commendation of the Eisenhower report is like praising a sandwich for not being a salad? Just because it exists doesn't mean it's effective!.
• Headline: Sea-Lovers, Landlubbers Jam Show; Boarding Parties Throng Boats on Coliseum Floor. Impact: As sea-lovers and landlubbers crowded the show, a bizarre phenomenon occurred: the blending of nautical and terrestrial cultures led to the rise of 'sea shanty yoga' classes that took the wellness world by storm, though nobody really knew how to do either.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'landlubber' originally referred to someone who was just really bad at sailing? Kind of like my attempts at cooking—nobody gets hurt, but it's not pretty!.
• Headline: HIS NIGHTMARES GO ON FOR EVERMORE; His Nightmares Go On for Evermore. Impact: J W Krutch's article on nightmares led to a nationwide obsession with dream interpretation, inadvertently creating a boom in the self-help industry that thrives to this day, with countless books telling you how to analyze that dream about your teeth falling out.. Fact: Did you know that Edgar Allan Poe's works were so dark that they inspired a whole genre of nightmares, which is ironic considering he probably just wanted to take a nap?.
• Headline: Taft-Hartley Revision. Impact: The proposed revisions to the Taft-Hartley Law inspired a series of legal battles over labor rights that would resonate for decades, ultimately leading to an underground movement of 'Labor Day Barbecues' where workers actually had fun without legal consequences.. Fact: Did you know that the Taft-Hartley Law was enacted in 1947? It's basically the 'great-grandparent' of modern labor laws—still complaining about kids these days!.