JANUARY 14, 1959

Full News Archive

• Headline: Auto-Lite Workers to Vote on Contract. Impact: When workers voted on a new contract, a butterfly flapped its wings in a factory somewhere, leading to a global movement for better workplace conditions. Eventually, someone invents the concept of 'work-life balance.' Thanks, Auto-Lite.. Fact: In a world full of contract negotiations, some still think a handshake is a legally binding agreement. Spoiler: it's not..
• Headline: F R Blair Appointed Rockefeller Adviser. Impact: F.R. Blair's appointment as an adviser led to a series of bizarre economic policies, eventually resulting in a reality show where millionaires give advice to politicians. Yes, that's a thing now.. Fact: Before becoming an adviser, Blair was known for his unique ability to nod at meetings without actually saying anything of substance..
• Headline: Gangland Convocation in Apalachin. Impact: The Apalachin gang meeting led to increased police surveillance and a good script for a future mob movie. Every time a mobster sneezes, a Hollywood exec gets a new idea.. Fact: Testifying in front of state inquiries is a great way to practice avoiding eye contact. It's like a masterclass in deflection..
• Headline: FARMER DROPS FIGHT; Opponent of Acreage Controls Will Leave Agriculture. Impact: When S. Yankus dropped his fight against acreage controls, crops began to flourish and a new breed of rebellious farmer emerged, leading to the rise of organic everything. Thanks, S. Yankus, for being the anti-hero we didn't know we needed.. Fact: Apparently, farming is less about the soil and more about how much trouble you're willing to get into with the government. Who knew?.
• Headline: G.O.P. CHIEFS BACK BALANCED BUDGET; Hopeful After a White House Fiscal Parley but Assert Democrats Hold the Key. Impact: The G.O.P. chiefs' push for a balanced budget led to a historical chain of events where politicians began using the term 'fiscal responsibility' more often than they used 'I’m sorry.'. Fact: Balanced budgets are like unicorns: they sound magical, but nobody really knows how to make them happen without sacrificing a few goats along the way..
• Headline: NEW PAIN-KILLER IS TESTED BY U. S.; Drug Found More Effective and Safer Than Morphine New Pain-Killer is Tested by U.S.. Impact: The testing of a new pain-killer sparked a revolution in pain management, which eventually led to people treating their emotional pain with retail therapy. Thank you, new pain-killer!. Fact: Morphine has been around long enough to have its own fan club. But now, there's a new kid on the block, and it's ready to steal its thunder..
• Headline: U. S. Lottery Again Urged. Impact: The push for a federal lottery ended up inspiring a generation of hopeful daydreamers who believe that winning the jackpot will fix all their problems. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.. Fact: People have been trying to cash in on luck since the dawn of time. Some even believe that buying a ticket is a form of investment. Good luck with that!.
• Headline: BELGRADE ENACTS NEW EXILE LAWS; Tito Regime Quietly Restores Right to Banish Foes -Acts on Pro-Russians. Impact: The enactment of new exile laws in Belgrade created a ripple effect of paranoia among political dissenters, who began to invest in GPS tracking devices to avoid unexpected vacations.. Fact: Banishment has a long history, but it's not as glamorous as it sounds. It’s essentially an early version of ghosting, but with more paperwork..
• Headline: Alabama Jurors Offer Vote Files To Officials of Civil Rights Unit; U. S. Aides Review Data in Barbour County -- Study Bullock's Terms. Impact: The civil rights unit's scrutiny of Alabama jurors led to greater transparency in the legal system, which ultimately caused politicians to start sweating bullets whenever they opened their mouths.. Fact: Handing over vote files to officials is about as popular as a root canal. But hey, at least they’re not hiding anything... right?.
• Headline: NEW BRUNSWICK STRESSING ROADS; Province's Economy Shows Some Declines -- Army Camp Proves a Boon. Impact: New Brunswick's focus on roads eventually paved the way for the modern highway system, which leads to the invention of road trips and the endless debate over whether pineapple belongs on pizza.. Fact: Roads: where dreams of getting lost are born. Just remember, every road trip starts with 'Are we there yet?'.