NOVEMBER 7, 1958

Full News Archive

• Headline: Harold Bowers: Pier Boss Legacy. Impact: Bowers's demise led to a power vacuum on the docks, resulting in a series of mob disputes over who controls the best sandwich shops in the area. Because that’s what really matters.. Fact: Harold Bowers was not just a boss; he was a sandwich aficionado. Rumor has it his last meal was a pastrami on rye..
• Headline: Brooklyn Vote Recount Set for Wednesday. Impact: The recount sparked a series of increasingly absurd election recounts across the country, eventually leading to a national obsession with counting things that don't matter, like jellybeans in a jar.. Fact: Did you know that recounts often result in more confusion than clarity? Just like trying to find your keys when you're already late..
• Headline: Kennedy Going to Alaska. Impact: Kennedy's trip to Alaska inadvertently set off a fashion trend for parkas that would echo through the decades, leading to a resurgence of 'Alaskan chic' long after the campaign ended.. Fact: Alaska is not just freezing; it’s also where half of America’s forgotten winter coats go to die..
• Headline: U. A. W. THREATENS HARVESTER STRIKE. Impact: The UAW's strike threat prompted corporations to invent the 'employee happiness' program, which mostly consisted of free coffee and motivational posters. Because nothing says 'we care' like a poster of a cat hanging onto a branch.. Fact: Did you know that most 'employee happiness' programs are just a way for companies to avoid giving actual raises?.
• Headline: CHURCH TO RELOCATE; Building Chairman Agrees to New Site in Rockaway. Impact: The church's relocation sparked a global trend of moving buildings instead of just tearing them down, leading to not-so-epic road trips across the country as various structures began to wander.. Fact: Churches have been known to move, but they usually don’t do it on a whim. This one, however, clearly had a better real estate agent..
• Headline: MEDICAL GROUP PICKS 2; Helen Menken, E. J. Taylor Named by Surgery Society. Impact: The medical group's choice of trustees led to a new era of facial reconstruction techniques, resulting in a bizarre trend of people with celebrity faces—because who wouldn’t want to look like a B-list actor?. Fact: Helen Menken once played a disfigured character on stage, leading to the ironic twist that she was now a trustee for those in need of similar surgeries..
• Headline: A ROCKET TO MARS CALLED POSSIBLE; Scientist Says U. S. Could Now Also Send a Payload to Venus With Thor. Impact: The possibility of a Mars rocket inevitably led to a bizarre fascination with extraterrestrial life, culminating in every conspiracy theorist suddenly becoming a 'space expert'.. Fact: Did you know that the Thor rocket was named after the Norse god of thunder? Because nothing says 'science' like an ancient deity's endorsement..
• Headline: KENNEDY FIGHTS SUIT; Senate Unit Counsel Opposes Libel Charges by Teamster. Impact: Kennedy's legal battle made him a household name, inadvertently launching a series of political dramas and a thousand conspiracy theories about the Teamsters and their alleged ties to everything from pizza to aliens.. Fact: R.F. Kennedy once said, 'A lawyer with a sense of humor is like a unicorn.' In other words, they don't exist..