OCTOBER 6, 1958

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tribute to Mrs. Dora A. Goff. Impact: The mysterious Mrs. Dora A. Goff ends up being a coding error in history, creating a paradox where her name is mistakenly linked with every notable event of the 20th century. Thanks to her, we'll always remember to double-check our archives.. Fact: Did you know that there are over 1,000 recorded 'Dora Goffs' in history? Spoiler alert: none of them are particularly noteworthy..
• Headline: Khrushchev Limits Soviet Involvement in China. Impact: Khrushchev's casual decision to limit Soviet involvement in China's civil war leads to a decade-long game of chicken that inadvertently inspires the future 'chicken dance' craze at weddings. Thanks, Cold War!. Fact: Did you know that this diplomatic squabble almost turned into a sitcom? It was called 'Two Men and a Diplomat.'.
• Headline: A.E.C. Adjusts Testing Methods Amid Shortages. Impact: The A.E.C.'s balloon test leads to a surge in inflatable toy sales, creating a bizarre economy where children think they can float their way to safety during a nuclear fallout. Spoiler alert: they can't.. Fact: Did you know that after this event, balloon animals became the primary source of entertainment at every nuclear safety drill? Because who needs real safety when you have a poodle made of latex?.
• Headline: Greek Fails in Swim Around Manhattan; GREEK SWIMMER FAILS IN HUDSON. Impact: Zerganos' failed swim around Manhattan results in a new sport: the 'Land Swim.' This bizarre competition eventually leads to the invention of the treadmill, making sure no one ever has to actually swim again.. Fact: Did you know that Zerganos was actually just trying to avoid rush hour traffic? So in a way, he was ahead of his time!.
• Headline: ALFRED J. TOBIAS. Impact: Alfred J. Tobias becomes the face of a forgotten movement advocating for the preservation of middle initials. This leads to a resurgence in the use of initials, causing confusion in legal documents for decades.. Fact: Did you know that if you add up all the middle initials used in legal documents, you’d have enough letters to write a novel? Spoiler: it's a very boring novel..
• Headline: BROOKLYN TO GET 5.5 MILLION PIER; Marine Terminal at Atlantic Avenue Will Be Leased to Sottnek Corporation. Impact: The construction of the Brooklyn pier creates a butterfly effect that leads to the rise of artisanal seafood markets, eventually inspiring hipsters to make their own sea salt from Brooklyn water. Because why not?. Fact: Did you know that the Sottnek Corporation actually tried to lease a pier in Atlantis first? Turns out, they were a little too far off the grid..
• Headline: MURDER IN CYPRUS AROUSES BRITAIN; Slaying of Soldier's Wife by Terrorist Stirs Wide Debate on New Policy. Impact: The murder in Cyprus sparks a wave of debates that eventually leads to the invention of the reality TV debate format. Who knew a tragedy could lead to such lowbrow entertainment centuries later?. Fact: Did you know that the debate over Cyprus's policies led to the phrase 'let's agree to disagree' being used so frequently it almost became a national anthem?.
• Headline: Second-Hand Shop Helps Women in Capital Whirl. Impact: The second-hand shop in Arlington becomes a trendy spot, inspiring a nationwide thrift store craze that eventually leads to a new fashion movement: 'vintage chic.' Who knew frugality could look so hip?. Fact: Did you know that the average thrift store now has enough 'vintage' clothes to supply a small country? Fashionistas, rejoice!.
• Headline: NEWS OF SHIPPING: RAIL COMPETITION; Curran Says Roads Threaten Inland Waterways -- New Cargo Service Slated. Impact: The news about rail competition sparks a frenzy of cargo innovations which lead to the invention of the cargo bike, starting the trend of biking for groceries. Thanks, competition!. Fact: Did you know that before cargo bikes, people used to carry their groceries home on their heads? Talk about a balancing act!.
• Headline: U. S. MARINE UNIT PUZZLES BEIRUT; Battalion Lingers in Harbor as Other Troops Depart -Aides Call It a 'Reserve'. Impact: The puzzling presence of the U.S. Marine unit in Beirut leads to a series of conspiracy theories, culminating in the belief that the Marines were actually just there for the local cuisine. Who can blame them?. Fact: Did you know that 'puzzled' is the official state of mind for U.S. Marines whenever they are stationed in a foreign country? It's in the handbook..