JUNE 26, 1958

Full News Archive

• Headline: New FBI Unit Combatting Gang Crime Established. Impact: Harriman's move to set up an FBI unit created a chain reaction of federal oversight that eventually led to the invention of the phrase 'We are watching you.' This was later used by parents and government agencies alike to justify their snooping. Fact: Did you know that the FBI was originally established to combat the rampant crime of having really bad haircuts? Just kidding, it was a little more serious.
• Headline: Pentagon's Stance on Lebanon Conflict. Impact: The Pentagon's reluctance to engage in Lebanon created a ripple effect of military indecisiveness that would haunt future administrations, leading to many awkward 'we're not really involved' press conferences. Fact: Did you know that the Pentagon once considered sending a group of trained penguins to Lebanon for reconnaissance? Just kidding, but wouldn't that have been a sight?.
• Headline: I.L.G.W.U. Launches War on Rackets. Impact: The I.L.G.W.U.'s war on rackets sparked a fashion revolution that ultimately led to the rise of hipster thrift shops, where ironically labeled clothing became all the rage. Fact: Did you know that the original dress label weapon was just a regular tag that said 'Made in a Place You’ve Never Heard Of'? Not quite as catchy.
• Headline: U. S. SAID TO GAIN PROPAGANDA LEAD; Nagy Execution Has Turned Tables Against Moscow, Washington Aides Feel. Impact: Nagy's execution shifted the balance in the Cold War narrative, convincing Washington that a strong cup of propaganda was the key to global dominance, leading to an embarrassing amount of poorly made anti-communist films. Fact: Did you know that one of those films featured a talking bear that represented American values? Yeah, the Cold War was a wild time.
• Headline: Adams Urged to Resign. Impact: The call for Adams to resign set a precedent for political drama that would inspire countless reality TV shows about dysfunctional leadership. Fact: Did you know that the Los Angeles County Republican Assembly has a secret handbook titled 'How to Suggest Resignation Without Getting Caught'? Just kidding, but it does feel like they have one.
• Headline: U. of Rochester to Add Wings. Impact: The expansion of the University of Rochester's men's dormitory spurred a sudden increase in pizza delivery services, leading to the creation of the world's first late-night study snack culture. Fact: Did you know that dormitory expansion plans often come with a side of 'Don't worry, the pizza will be there in 20 minutes or your money back'? Yeah, priorities.
• Headline: TREASURY LINKED TO GOLDFINE CASE; Official Asked About Charge in Senator Payne's Behalf, Ex-S.E.C. Head Says. Impact: The Goldfine case linked a web of corruption that ultimately led to people realizing that politics and finance are basically a game of Monopoly—minus the fun. Fact: Did you know that Goldfine once tried to bribe a Monopoly banker with actual money? Turns out, they don't accept cash in board games.
• Headline: 2 Kjlled in Portuguese Clash. Impact: The clash in Portugal highlighted class tensions that would resonate through the decades, leading to an ongoing struggle for social justice and a lot of really intense protest songs. Fact: Did you know that one of the protest songs became a hit but was mostly about how bad the government snacks were? True story.
• Headline: Federal Judge Denies Goldfine 'Pressured' Him or Asked Help. Impact: The judge's denial of pressure in the Goldfine case set a precedent for future legal defenses, leading to the popular phrase, 'I swear, it wasn’t me,' being used in courtrooms everywhere. Fact: Did you know that judges often have a secret language they use to communicate with each other? It’s mostly just eye rolls and sighs.