JUNE 22, 1958

Full News Archive

• Headline: USSR Accuses Bonn of Staged Riot. Impact: This riot in Bonn could be the reason why 'provocateurs' are now a go-to excuse for any botched event. Who knew that throwing rocks could lead to the birth of crisis management?. Fact: The term 'provocateur' has a long history in political jargon, but until this riot, it mostly referred to people who started arguments in coffee shops..
• Headline: Mark Tobey Wins Venice Prize. Impact: Mark Tobey's award at Venice might have planted the seeds for future artists to believe that simply showing up at an art exhibit could lead to fame and fortune. Spoiler: it usually doesn't.. Fact: Mark Tobey was known for his 'white writing' style of painting, which could also describe the blank expressions of gallery-goers who pretend to understand modern art..
• Headline: AID TO IRAN. Impact: The aid to Iran in the 1950s could be seen as the precursor to the 'let's meddle in foreign affairs' playbook that many countries would later follow, complete with the inevitable chaos.. Fact: This aid was part of the U.S. strategy to counter Soviet influence, which apparently meant giving money to everyone and hoping for the best. A classic strategy!.
• Headline: NEW 1,000 ISLANDS TOUR BOAT; Another Addition Made To the St. Lawrence Sight-Seeing Fleet. Impact: Adding a new tour boat to the Thousand Islands fleet may have inadvertently inspired the creation of countless poorly-reviewed boat tours worldwide. Thanks, Thousand Islands!. Fact: The Thousand Islands are not just a salad dressing; they are a natural wonder! And now, with more boats, more tourists will think they are on 'The Amazing Race'..
• Headline: AIR CRASH KILLS FIVE; Storm Hits Army Helicopter Over Ranch in Kansas. Impact: The tragic helicopter crash might have led to stricter safety regulations, possibly saving countless lives in the future. If only they had known about seatbelts.. Fact: Helicopters are generally safer than cars, but less so when they’re plummeting from the sky. Just a fun little fact!.
• Headline: Beef Booms And Busts; THE CATTLEMEN: From the Rio Grande Across the Far Marias. By Mari Sandoz. Illustrated. 527 pp. New York: Hastings House. $6.50.. Impact: The ups and downs of the cattle market could be a metaphor for life itself: one moment you're at the top, the next you're just beef on a bun. Bon appétit!. Fact: The cattle industry has been booming and busting since the Wild West days. Why would it stop now? Because, you know, cows..
• Headline: YOUTHS' SALES TOP '57; Junior Achievement in Union County Ends Good Year. Impact: Junior Achievement's success might have fueled the rise of countless entrepreneurial wannabes who think selling lemonade is the first step to a Fortune 500 company. Spoiler: It’s not.. Fact: Kids selling cookies and lemonade today might just be the future CEOs of tomorrow, or they could just end up in a corporate meeting regretting their life choices..
• Headline: FLORIDA HAS A WILD WEST IN THE SUNNY SOUTH. Impact: The rodeo boom in Florida could have inadvertently inspired people to think that bull riding is an acceptable life choice. Spoiler: It’s not.. Fact: Florida rodeos feature a unique blend of cowboy culture and tropical weather. Where else can you see a cowboy in flip-flops?.
• Headline: Life Begins at 40 (x 2); Eight notable oldsters tell how to stay young beyond 80.. Impact: The claim that 'life begins at 40' might have sparked a global midlife crisis trend that led to the existence of more sports cars and questionable fashion choices.. Fact: Studies show that most people actually start considering their life choices at 39, which is probably why they say 'life begins at 40'—it’s a desperate attempt to feel better about the impending crisis!.