MAY 10, 1958

Full News Archive

• Headline: Lawyer Leads Crippled Relief Society. Impact: This lawyer, P Bastedo, eventually inspired a global movement that led to the invention of a time machine, where people with disabilities could finally go back to see how society treated them before they fought for their rights. Spoiler alert: it wasn't pretty.. Fact: Fun fact: P Bastedo's first name is actually 'P', which stands for 'Probably the only lawyer who cares'..
• Headline: Wyoming's Sixth Governor Fenimore Chatterton Dies. Impact: Chatterton's passing set off a chain reaction of political reshuffling in Wyoming that eventually led to the establishment of the world's first state-sponsored cheese appreciation festival. Thank you, Fenimore.. Fact: Chatterton lived to 97, which is a reminder that some people can win at life simply by outlasting their peers..
• Headline: Eisenhower's Farewell: Denver Trip 1958. Impact: This trip was the precursor to the now-famous 'Presidential Goodbyes' which are televised worldwide, leading to reality shows about First Ladies and their travels. Ah, the power of a heartfelt farewell!. Fact: Did you know that every time a First Lady travels, a new reality TV show idea is born? Keep your eyes peeled for 'The Real Housewives of the White House'..
• Headline: TAX CUT QUESTIONED; Baird Asserts It Might Not Be Effective Against Recession. Impact: Baird's skepticism about tax cuts led to a centuries-long debate about fiscal policy that eventually resulted in the creation of the Bureau of Eternal Taxation, where they still can't agree on anything.. Fact: Tax cuts are like a magician's trick: they look great on the surface, but the rabbit never really comes out of the hat..
• Headline: LABOR TEMPLE MOVES; Ex-Director Will Open New Fellowship in Brooklyn. Impact: This move led to Brooklyn becoming the hipster capital of labor movements, where baristas and union organizers now discuss wage increases over artisanal lattes.. Fact: Brooklyn: the only place where you can negotiate your salary while drinking a $7 cup of coffee brewed from beans blessed by monks..
• Headline: MEXICAN SETTING CAMPAIGN RECORD; Presidential Nominee Plans 520 Speeches, Although He Is Expected to Lose. Impact: Alvarez's campaign record of speeches inspired a future generation of politicians to adopt 'talking a lot without saying anything' as a valid campaign strategy. It continues to thrive today.. Fact: 520 speeches is almost one for every person who will actually vote for him. Talk about dedication to futility!.
• Headline: 51ST BACH FETE OPENS AT LEHIGH; Bethlehem Choir Offers St. John Passion -- B Minor Mass to Be Sung Today. Impact: This musical event sparked a worldwide revival of classical music appreciation that led to a bizarre trend of people dressing as composers for parties. The afterparties were a cacophony of wigs and harpsichords.. Fact: The 51st Bach Fete is proof that classical music is more than just background noise for studying; it's a full-blown festival where people can pretend to be cultured..
• Headline: EISENHOWER HAILS NIXON'S COURAGE IN RIOTS IN PERU; Message to Vice President, Now in Ecuador, Says He Won New Respect in U.S. President Hails Nixon Courage During Red-Led Rioting in Peru. Impact: Eisenhower's praise for Nixon in a crisis set a precedent for future politicians to pat each other on the back during disasters, igniting a trend of empty platitudes that still plagues us today.. Fact: Nixon’s ‘courage’ during riots is like being the only one in a group project to do the work while everyone else claims ‘team effort’..
• Headline: Books of The Times. Impact: The publication of this book review eventually led to the rise of book clubs where people pretend to read the book but just drink wine instead. Cheers to literary deception!. Fact: The Magic Barrel is not just a book; it's also what some people call their wine stash after a long week..
• Headline: IIHE OWHIR, DS '; Former'Boxer Prospecte.d in Ontario, .'Made Fortune .in -; :" Gi31d "--Ci)llected'-Ar ..... I. Impact: The story of this former boxer's fortune inspired many to pursue gold mining, leading to a gold rush that was more about selling shovels than finding gold. Everyone became a millionaire, except the ones actually digging.. Fact: It's amazing how one boxer can inspire a whole generation to dig for gold—too bad they didn't realize they should have just been selling the shovels instead..