APRIL 20, 1958

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Leaders for Blind Aid Group. Impact: The appointment of E Seligman and J Noyes Jr as leaders for the blind aid group inadvertently led to a future where blind individuals would become renowned motivational speakers, proving that sight isn't the only way to see the world. Fact: Did you know that E Seligman was not only a champion for the blind but also had a knack for making excellent puns? Too bad we can't see him in action!.
• Headline: Hope for Algerian Peace Is Seen in African Parley; HOPES FOR PEACE IN ALGERIA RISING. Impact: The hope for peace in Algeria sparked diplomatic events that ultimately led to a series of international summits, paving the way for future world leaders to engage in hours of pointless discussions over coffee and pastries. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'let's talk it out' has been used more times in history than actual resolutions? It’s basically the diplomatic equivalent of a shrug.
• Headline: Piecing the Story Together; THE ANCIENT LIBRARY OF QUMRAN AND MODERN BIBLICAL STUDIES. The Haskell Lectures, 1956-1957. By Frank Moore Cross Jr. 195 pp. New York: Double-day & Co. $4.50.. Impact: The publication of Frank Moore Cross Jr.'s lectures on the ancient library of Qumran likely accelerated the spread of biblical studies, leading to an explosion of conspiracy theories about ancient texts that still perplex scholars and enthusiasts alike. Fact: Did you know that the library of Qumran is often linked to the Dead Sea Scrolls? Just think, if they had a Netflix special, it would be the most confusing documentary series ever made.
• Headline: HERBERT HOOVER OPERATED ON HERE; His Condition Is Termed 'Very Satisfactory' After Removal of Gall Bladder. Impact: Herbert Hoover's gallbladder surgery was the catalyst for future presidents to take their health more seriously, ultimately resulting in the creation of the Presidential Fitness Challenge. Who knew gallbladders could change history?. Fact: Fun fact: Hoover's gallbladder was probably in better shape than the economy during his presidency. Health truly is wealth!.
• Headline: Keynes Re-Examined: The Man, the Theory; His unorthodox economics (and his sharp tongue) made him a bogeyman to many, but his ideas lie at the root of most economists' understanding of today's recession.. Impact: Keynes' theories being re-examined led to a future where economists could become celebrities, resulting in them being invited to every cocktail party, where they awkwardly explained inflation while everyone else was just trying to enjoy their drinks. Fact: Did you know that Keynes’ sharp tongue often got him in trouble? Imagine a world where economists were known for their roasts rather than their ratios!.
• Headline: JOHNSON DEMANDS BOLD U. S. ACTIONS TO END RECESSION; In Attack on Administration Senator Says Nation Can't Afford to 'Sit It Out'. Impact: Senator Johnson's demands for bold actions during a recession led to a chain reaction of politicians making increasingly outlandish promises, ultimately culminating in the modern art of saying a lot while doing very little. Bravo!. Fact: Did you know that 'bold actions' are often just code for 'we'll talk about it next quarter?' Politicians love a good delay almost as much as a good soundbite.
• Headline: WELLESLEY NAMES 3; Visiting Professors Selected for 1959 Spring Semester. Impact: Wellesley's selection of visiting professors led to a future where universities sought out celebrity faculty, making it a competition to see who could attract the most Instagram followers rather than the most academic accolades. Fact: Did you know that getting named a visiting professor is like being a guest star in a sitcom? You get all the glory without the long-term commitment!.