APRIL 10, 1958

Full News Archive

• Headline: More Funding for Nuclear Science Education. Impact: The influx of funding for nuclear science education inadvertently led to the rise of a generation of students who would later argue over the best way to split atoms at parties, resulting in nuclear-themed cocktail recipes nobody asked for.. Fact: The AEC’s idea of 'aid' might just mean providing enough funding for college students to think they can solve the world’s energy crisis with a science fair project..
• Headline: Hopeful Outlook on Global Relations. Impact: Hammarskjold's optimism led to an unexpected surge in world peace-themed merchandise, making peace doves the hottest fashion statement of the 1960s.. Fact: When you’re the Secretary-General of the UN, being 'hopeful' is basically the job description, right next to 'send more emails'..
• Headline: Rising Unemployment in Detroit, 1958. Impact: The spike in unemployment not only devastated Detroit but also led to the invention of the sad 'jobless blues' music genre, which quickly became a hit among the disillusioned.. Fact: One in six people being jobless is just the universe's way of saying, 'Hey, maybe you should consider a career in interpretive dance!'.
• Headline: Hospital Building Opened. Impact: The opening of a new hospital building likely led to a sudden spike in hospital selfies, forever changing the landscape of healthcare marketing.. Fact: Mayor Dilworth probably thought the building would attract more patients. Spoiler: it just attracted more tourists looking for quirky Instagram spots..
• Headline: NEHRU HAILS U. S. PLAN; Says It and Moscow's Halt in Atom Tests Ease Tensions. Impact: Nehru's praise of the US plan may have led to a brief moment of global camaraderie—until someone inevitably mentioned politics and the world went back to squabbling.. Fact: Nehru and Eisenhower probably exchanged messages saying, 'Isn't it great when we can agree on something? Now, back to bickering!'.
• Headline: COMMUTER LINES CALLED 'LUXURY'; Alpert Says New Haven No Longer Can Afford Such Service 'on Its Own' GOVERNMENT AID URGED Stockholders Told That Rise in Fare Is Not Solution to $15,250,000 Deficit COMMUTER LINES CALLED LUXURY. Impact: Calling commuter lines a 'luxury' may have inadvertently inspired a wave of city dwellers to start biking to work, leading to the first-ever hipster bike culture in the 1970s.. Fact: Imagine telling the stockholders that the solution to their deficit was to just start charging for every sneeze on the train. 'Sorry, that’ll be an extra quarter for the congestion!'.
• Headline: VERRAZANO GETS CREDIT; State Officially Recognizes Him as Discoverer. Impact: Verrazano's recognition led to a sudden interest in Italian explorers and a spike in pasta sales, as people mistakenly believed they were related.. Fact: It’s nice to know that a proclamation can take centuries to happen—talk about a bureaucratic backlog!.
• Headline: TOGLIATTI STILL ILL AS PARTY CONFERS. Impact: Togliatti’s illness may have led to various conspiracy theories about him faking it to avoid party meetings, resulting in an entire subculture of 'politicians who pretend to be sick'.. Fact: Sometimes, skipping a meeting due to illness is just a polite way of saying, 'I need a break from all this nonsense.'.
• Headline: U. N. ALLIES TEST RED KOREA OFFER; Ask Pyongyang and Peiping to Clarify Proposal for Union by Free Vote U. N. ALLIES TEST RED KOREA OFFER. Impact: The UN allies testing North Korea's offer might have been the beginning of a very long, awkward game of diplomatic charades that continues to this day.. Fact: Asking for clarification from North Korea is like asking a toddler to explain why they threw their food on the wall—you're probably not going to get a straight answer..