JANUARY 16, 1958

Full News Archive

• Headline: Dedication of Synchrotron Unit. Impact: The dedication of the synchrotron unit sparked an uncontrollable urge for scientists everywhere to wear lab coats as a fashion statement. Fast forward a few decades, and now every hipster at coffee shops thinks they can explain quantum physics because they watched a YouTube video.. Fact: Fun fact: Synchrotrons are like the roller coasters of the scientific world, except instead of screaming in delight, scientists are just screaming about data..
• Headline: Supreme Court Challenges Army Discharge Practices. Impact: This monumental moment of calling the Army wrong on 'risks' led to a chain of events where legal jargon became its own sport. Now, lawyers are the only people who can make a simple 'yes or no' answer sound like a seven-part documentary.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'civilian courts' has nothing to do with civilians? It’s just a fancy way of saying, 'Good luck getting a fair trial!'.
• Headline: EXTENSION ASKED OF LAW ON 'RISKS'; Reid Committee on Security Would Keep State Act in Effect Another Year. Impact: Extending the Security Risk Law turned into a never-ending game of bureaucratic tag, where each administration dodged accountability like a bunch of kids in dodgeball. Spoiler: no one wins.. Fact: Fun fact: The Reid Committee sounds like a group of superheroes, but they're actually just really serious about keeping everyone else paranoid..
• Headline: ACCORDS IN SIGHT ON STATE ISSUES; Governor Meets With G.O.P. Leaders on Jobless Aid, Crime and Schools ACCORDS IN SIGHT ON STATE ISSUES. Impact: Harriman's negotiations led to a new state motto: 'Compromise is our second favorite C-word.' This paved the way for politicians to get really good at saying a lot while avoiding actual decisions.. Fact: Did you know that the word 'accord' is just a fancy way of saying, 'Let's shake on it and hope for the best?'.
• Headline: GROUP LIKE MAU MAU OUTLAWED BY KENYA. Impact: The outlawing of the group like Mau Mau sent shockwaves through secret societies everywhere, causing an uptick in creative group names. Who knew the underground had such a flair for the dramatic?. Fact: Did you know that outlawing groups usually makes them more popular? It's like the ultimate 'forbidden fruit' scenario..
• Headline: HARRIMAN SCOUTS VIEW; Says Education Aid Rise Won't Pare Local Allocations. Impact: Harriman's comments about education aid sparked a nationwide debate that led to local governments throwing more money into education rather than fixing potholes. Some say that's progress; others just want smoother roads.. Fact: Fun fact: Local allocations are like that one friend who always borrows money but never pays it back. You keep wanting to help, but you know it's a bad idea..
• Headline: Dr. Schick Is Honored by Wagner. Impact: Dr. Schick's honor from Wagner became the pivotal moment when everyone started to realize that science and music have a lot more in common than just the ability to confuse the average person.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more surprising than Dr. Schick being honored is the fact that Wagner didn't ask for a duet..