JANUARY 11, 1958

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Solid-Fuel Missile Development Announced. Impact: The introduction of solid-fuel missiles led to a global arms race. Little did they know, a butterfly flapped its wings somewhere, and suddenly, we're living in a world where kids are playing with toy drones instead of toy soldiers.. Fact: Did you know that solid-fuel missiles are basically the adult version of a firecracker? They just go boom, but with a lot more paperwork!.
• Headline: Pesticide Safety Concerns in 1958. Impact: The hazardous effects of pesticides were discovered, leading to organic farming becoming a trend. Fast forward a few decades, and now people pay extra for 'organic' air. Thanks, pesticides!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'pesticide' literally means 'to kill pests'? Because what could possibly go wrong with that logic?.
• Headline: Freedom for Two Officers Announced. Impact: The release of these officers sparked a series of events resulting in the creation of more 'free the officers' campaigns, which eventually led to the 'Free the Free Officers' movement. A real chain reaction of irony.. Fact: Did you know that 'freedom' often comes with a side of paperwork? Just ask these officers..
• Headline: RIGHTS POST UNFILLED; U. S. Commission Continues to Seek Staff Director. Impact: The ongoing search for a director left the commission in a constant state of chaos, leading to a future where every important meeting begins with the question: 'Who's running this circus again?'. Fact: Did you know that 'seeking a director' is just code for 'let's see how long we can pretend to be productive'?.
• Headline: CARl. S. D. EGGERSTEDT:. Impact: The passing of Carl S. D. Eggerstedt was a moment of reflection for many. His contributions led to future generations of historians wondering how they could possibly live up to the legacy of a guy with a name like that.. Fact: Did you know that living to 92 in those days was basically like winning the longevity lottery? Carl definitely had the winning ticket!.
• Headline: MRS. DANIEL L. MORRIS. Impact: Mrs. Daniel L. Morris's mention in the headlines serves as a reminder that behind every great man is a woman who probably knows where he left his keys. Because let’s be honest, who else would keep track?. Fact: Did you know that the title 'Mrs.' has been used for centuries, but somehow still manages to feel like a footnote in history?.
• Headline: Taxpayer Will Keep A Mistaken Refund; TAXPAYER TO KEEP MISTAKEN REFUND. Impact: The taxpayer's victory over the IRS became a symbol of hope for future generations. It led to the saying, 'If you can dodge the IRS, you can dodge anything.'. Fact: Did you know that every tax refund comes with a side of anxiety? It's like finding money in your coat pocket... if the coat was filled with legal documentation..
• Headline: Farm Jobs Dropped 3% in '57. Impact: The dip in farm jobs was a harbinger of the agricultural shifts to come, eventually leading to the rise of tech startups that think they can grow crops in a lab. Who needs farmers when you've got science?. Fact: Did you know that '3% drop in farm jobs' sounds a lot more dramatic than it actually is? It's not like farmers were the only ones carrying the weight of the world!.
• Headline: JO-Hiq S, IARCHffECT, WAS40; Editor of Trade Magazine Dies--Former Department Heac[ at Carnegie Tech. Impact: The passing of Jno K. Shear, editor of a trade magazine, caused a temporary disruption in the trade publication world, leading to a desperate search for someone who could fill his shoes—spoiler: no one could.. Fact: Did you know that editors are like unicorns? Rare, magical, and often believed to be extinct by the time their legacy is fully appreciated!.