DECEMBER 19, 1957

Full News Archive

• Headline: Eastland Warns of Communist Deception. Impact: This warning led to a centuries-long paranoia about Communists in sheep's clothing, resulting in countless unnecessary sheep-related metaphors in politics. Who knew wool could be so controversial?. Fact: The phrase 'sheep's clothing' has been used so much in politics that the sheep might start demanding royalties..
• Headline: Bladen Leads New Trade Organization. Impact: Bladen's appointment sparked a chain reaction that led to numerous trade agreements, but also a long line of forgettable trade unit leaders who thought they were important. Spoiler: they weren't.. Fact: In the world of trade, being 'head' doesn’t mean you’re in charge; it just means you get the first slice of pie at meetings..
• Headline: A.H. M'Dannald: Encyclopedia Contributor. Impact: McDannald's work in encyclopedias led to an explosion of trivia knowledge, which in turn caused countless awkward party conversations for generations. Thanks, Alex!. Fact: Encyclopedias are the original internet, but with fewer cat videos..
• Headline: Greece Buys Surplus Crops. Impact: Greece's purchase of surplus crops sparked a farming revolution, indirectly leading to a global obsession with organic produce and artisanal farmers markets. Thanks a lot, Greece.. Fact: Buying surplus crops is a lot like shopping at a clearance sale, but with much higher stakes..
• Headline: SCIENTISTS TRYING MODERN ALCHEMY; Columbia Team Treats Coal Radioactively in Search for Synthetic Gas Low Heat Value. Impact: The Columbia team's attempt at modern alchemy went terribly wrong, leading to an era of confusion where people began asking if they could turn lead into gold. Spoiler alert: they couldn’t.. Fact: If only they had just tried to convert coal into something useful, like pizza..
• Headline: American Pulley Fight Due. Impact: The American Pulley Fight became a legendary tale of corporate warfare, leading to future generations confusing pulleys with politics. Who knew they were so similar?. Fact: Pulleys are just the mechanical version of office politics—everyone's trying to pull their weight, but usually, it's a lot of spinning..