DECEMBER 18, 1957

Full News Archive

• Headline: First Soviet Base at Geomagnetic Pole Established. Impact: The establishment of a Soviet base at the South Geomagnetic Pole inadvertently leads to a series of questionable conspiracy theories about secret penguin meetings and the true purpose of polar bears. Who knew the cold could spark such warm debates?. Fact: Did you know that the South Geomagnetic Pole is like the red-headed stepchild of the poles? No one really cares about it until the Soviets show up!.
• Headline: Reds Attack Police in Henzada. Impact: The ambush on Burmese police by rebels prompts an international debate on the merits of police training programs. Turns out, some would rather take their chances with a ninja than a cop!. Fact: Did you know that ambushing police is generally frowned upon? I mean, who knew that committing treason could have such negative consequences?.
• Headline: Israelis Drop Bid To NATO Via Bonn; ISRAEL CANCELS NATO BID VIA BONN Previews Missions Calm Envoy Aroused Objections Israelis Approach NATO Eban Assails Cession Plan. Impact: Israel's decision to drop its NATO bid leads to a series of awkward dinners in Bonn, where no one knows how to discuss the elephant in the room. Spoiler: the elephant just wants a guarantee of lunch!. Fact: Did you know that diplomatic discussions can sometimes feel like a game of charades gone horribly wrong? No one knows what anyone else means!.
• Headline: SOUTH AFRICA FREES 61 IN TREASON CASE. Impact: The release of 61 individuals accused of treason in South Africa sets off a nationwide trend of ‘Release the Accused’ parties, which, you guessed it, become wildly popular—until the government cancels the after-party.. Fact: Did you know that in South Africa, treason is basically a group project? One person gets released, and suddenly everyone thinks they deserve a free pass!.
• Headline: MOROCCANS REGARD NATO TALKS COOLLY. Impact: Moroccan coolness towards NATO talks leads to years of awkward pauses in international relations, ultimately resulting in a generation of diplomats mastering the art of small talk.. Fact: Did you know that Moroccan newspapers are basically the sassiest critics of international politics? They don’t pull punches; they throw them!.
• Headline: MISSILE PLAN DENIED; Army Discounts Reports of Cross-Country Tests. Impact: The Army's denial of cross-country missile tests leads to a series of wild conspiracy theories involving miscommunication and a rogue general's daydreams. Who knew military plans could be so imaginative?. Fact: Did you know that military denials are like a kid saying they didn’t eat the cookies? We all know they probably did, but it’s cute to watch them squirm!.
• Headline: Higher Panama Payment. Impact: The push for a new treaty giving Panama more revenue leads to an unexpected rise in ‘Panama Party’ themes across college campuses, complete with tropical drinks and questionable dance moves.. Fact: Did you know that negotiating treaties can often feel like negotiating with a toddler? You think you’re getting somewhere, and then they just want more candy!.