DECEMBER 17, 1957

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Cost and Future of ICBMs. Impact: The $2 million price tag on ICBMs prompted a secret arms race that inadvertently led to the invention of overpriced luxury dog beds. After all, if you can afford to build a nuclear missile, why not pamper your poodle?. Fact: Did you know that the Atlas missile was supposed to launch satellites? Turns out, it was just a really expensive way to send the world's first dog into space. Woof!.
• Headline: Balbin Nominated for Argentine Presidency. Impact: Balbin's presidential nomination sparked a political rivalry that resulted in a decades-long feud over who could wear the worst hairstyle on national television. Spoiler alert: it was a tie.. Fact: Did you know that in Argentina, they take their political scandals as seriously as their tango? One misstep, and you're out of the dance floor and into political exile!.
• Headline: ANTI-RED BALLOTS IN THAILAND GROW; With Half the Provinces In, Sweeping Victory Looms for Pro-West Factions. Impact: The pro-West factions’ victory led to a series of events that would eventually inspire a reality TV show about political backstabbing, complete with dramatic music and slow-motion shots of betrayal.. Fact: Did you know that anti-communist ballots in Thailand made such a splash that they inspired a new genre of political drama? Who knew elections could be so entertaining?.
• Headline: Real Work at Parley Achieved By Aides Toiling Behind Scenes; Politicking Under Way. Impact: The behind-the-scenes politicking at the parley set the stage for every future political drama, proving that the real action happens when the cameras are off. Hollywood took notes for years.. Fact: Did you know that 'real work' in politics often means finding creative ways to avoid actually doing anything? It's all in the name of diplomacy, darling!.
• Headline: MEN START BACK Full Service Today-- M.B.A. Is Promised 'Fair Treatment'; No Automatic Guarantee. Impact: The subway strike resolution created a precedent for labor negotiations, leading to the establishment of 'striker's rights,' which now involves mandatory pizza parties after any work stoppage.. Fact: Did you know that the promise of 'fair treatment' in labor negotiations is just code for 'we'll think about it over coffee'? Spoiler: they usually don't..
• Headline: L.I. SEEKS WORK LAW; Drafts U.S. Bill to Bar Teen Domestics of Other States. Impact: The proposed work law for teen domestics sparked a revolution in teen employment, leading to the rise of lawn mowing as a legitimate career option. Future generations found their calling in yard work.. Fact: Did you know that the idea of barring teen domestics was so controversial it led to a national debate? Because nothing says 'freedom' like restricting teenage job opportunities!.
• Headline: 4 RUSSIANS VISIT COAST BEVATRON; Scientists Tour Radiation Laboratory--Parley Hears Praise for British Work. Impact: The visit from Russian scientists to the radiation lab inadvertently opened the door to a series of international collaborations, leading to the creation of the world's first radiation-themed amusement park. Thrills and chills!. Fact: Did you know that scientists touring radiation labs is the closest thing we have to a science fiction plot? Just waiting for the inevitable mutant superhero!.
• Headline: DULLES IS DISCOUNTED; Hays Finds Foreign Chiefs Critical of Secretary. Impact: Dulles being discounted created a ripple effect where foreign leaders learned the fine art of backhanded compliments, leading to a global etiquette guide titled 'How to Politely Ignore a Secretary of State.'. Fact: Did you know that being discounted in foreign circles can lead to a career in motivational speaking? Just ask Dulles—he's now available for parties!.