DECEMBER 13, 1957

Full News Archive

• Headline: Syrian Diplomacy in the USSR. Impact: The talks between Syria and Bulganin led to a series of diplomatic blunders, ultimately resulting in the invention of the world's first 'Diplomatic Fidget Spinner' as leaders struggled to keep their hands busy during boring negotiations. Fact: Fun fact: If they had just agreed to play a game of charades instead, we might have avoided several awkward diplomatic moments in the future.
• Headline: U.S. Eases Control Over Tokyo Prisoners. Impact: The easing of control over Tokyo prisoners allowed for the rise of a very successful prison break movie franchise, which ultimately led to the invention of popcorn. Yes, popcorn was born from chaos. Fact: Did you know that before this decision, prisoners had to use origami to pass time? Now they just binge-watch the latest prison dramas.
• Headline: A.E.C. Member Gets Gibbs Chemistry Medal. Impact: Dr. Libby's receipt of the Gibbs Chemistry Medal resulted in a dramatic increase in chemist-themed parties, where attendees wore lab coats and glasses while discussing the merits of various periodic table elements. Fact: Fun fact: The last time chemistry was this exciting, they discovered how to mix baking soda and vinegar for a homemade volcano. #LivingOnTheEdge.
• Headline: Yule Tree Lighted in Midtown. Impact: The Rockefeller Center tree lighting sparked a nationwide trend of increasingly elaborate holiday displays, culminating in a bizarre competition for who can light their house with the most LED lights, leading to an energy crisis. Thanks, capitalism!. Fact: Did you know that this tree is now more famous than some movie stars? Talk about a 'root' of all envy!.
• Headline: U.S. PLANS TO CUT KOREA ARMS FUND; But Nonmilitary Assistance Is Expected to Be Same-- Lack of Self-Help Cited Continuance Opposed. Impact: The cut in Korea's arms fund was so impactful that it inspired a reality TV show called 'Survivor: Budget Cuts Edition,' where nations had to outwit and outlast each other with dwindling resources. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'lack of self-help' was actually coined at a self-help seminar? Irony much?.
• Headline: STATE U. REJECTS CENTRAL CAMPUS; Trustees Vote Unanimously to Retain Institution as a Decentralized Facility Proposal Stirs Dispute. Impact: The rejection of the central campus proposal led to a flourishing of decentralized learning models, inspiring generations of students to learn entirely from their couches. Thanks, State University!. Fact: Fun fact: The more decentralized the campus, the more likely it is that students will attend class in pajamas. Fashion statements, anyone?.
• Headline: Labor Charges Unfairness In Senate Rackets Inquiry; LABOR CRITICIZES RACKETS INQUIRY A speaker Presses the Attack. Impact: Labor's criticism of the Senate Rackets Inquiry led to a dramatic increase in union-themed dinners, where members would engage in spirited debates while enjoying a side of irony served with their steak. Fact: Fun fact: If unions had a dollar for every time they felt unfairly treated, they could probably fund a sitcom about it. Now that’s entertainment!.
• Headline: Central Would Drop Two Midwest Routes; CENTRAL TO SEEK END OF 2 ROUTES. Impact: The discontinuation of two Midwest routes led to an underground movement of disgruntled travelers forming 'The Route Resistance,' where they planned elaborate detours to relive their favorite travel memories. Talk about taking the scenic route!. Fact: Did you know that before this decision, people actually believed Cleveland was a major travel hub? They sure showed them!.