JULY 28, 1957

Full News Archive

• Headline: Pravda Critiques Kublitski on Yugoslavia. Impact: This criticism led to a secret society of Yugoslav authors who began inserting subliminal praise in their works, inadvertently creating a literary trend that would confuse readers for decades. Thanks, Pravda!. Fact: Pravda means 'truth' in Russian, which is ironic considering it was often the most entertaining fiction around..
• Headline: Alden Clan Gathering in Massachusetts. Impact: The gathering of the Alden clan inspired a new reality show called 'Keeping Up with the Aldens,' where drama unfolded over who brought the best potato salad to the family reunion.. Fact: Family reunions are the only events where you can feel both nostalgic and deeply annoyed at the same time..
• Headline: Floating Mines Harass North Japan Shipping. Impact: The floating mines became a new tourist attraction, with people coming from all over to take selfies with the 'dangerous' mines, which became a symbol of risk-taking and poor decision-making.. Fact: Floating mines are like the ocean's version of 'don't touch that!'—except they don't have a warning sign..
• Headline: GUIDED MISSILES LEAD ELECTRONICS; Billion Dollars Earmarked This Year for Military Robots of the Sky WHOLE INDUSTRY GROWS Large and Small Concerns Get Share of Business for Modern Devices Small Concerns Thrive Research Big Item. Impact: The massive investment in military robots led to a robot uprising, but thankfully, they were too busy arguing about who was the best 'Star Wars' character to organize a coup.. Fact: In a shocking twist, the billions spent on military robots could have funded an actual robot to make your morning coffee instead..
• Headline: PORT WILL BEGIN TO ISSUE PERMITS; Commission to Start Sending Permanent Work Papers to 4,100 Checkers This Week. Impact: The issuance of work permits turned into a bureaucratic nightmare, sparking a new genre of comedy where checkers would share their tragic tales of endless paperwork.. Fact: Work permits: because nothing says 'I'm employed' quite like a stack of forms taller than yourself..
• Headline: M'CORMACK PRESSES EISENHOWER ON AID. Impact: McCormack's urging led to a legendary political standoff that lasted for weeks, all while America watched ‘The Great Aid Debate’ as if it were a soap opera.. Fact: Political pressure is just another term for 'let's see who can yell the loudest without actually solving anything.'.