JUNE 20, 1957

Full News Archive

• Headline: Court Hears Estate Bid of Recluse's Kin. Impact: If these two nephews become administrators, they might accidentally discover a hidden family fortune, leading to a reality show about long-lost relatives fighting over money. Who knew estate disputes could launch a new TV empire?. Fact: Family feuds are like reality shows waiting to happen—without the glamorous outfits and dramatic music..
• Headline: R T Walker's Architectural Achievement. Impact: This architect's honor sparks a design renaissance, leading to the rise of tiny homes. In the future, everyone is living in shoe boxes, but at least they’re stylish!. Fact: Architects are basically just really good at making houses look pretty while the rest of us try to figure out how to fit a couch inside..
• Headline: Air Force Tests Long-Range Missiles. Impact: These missile tests lead to an arms race so intense that eventually, the world has to resort to using rubber bands for warfare. Who knew that a simple test would send us spiraling into absurdity?. Fact: Missiles have come a long way—once just glorified fireworks, now they’re the reason we have to keep our fingers crossed during international relations..
• Headline: HOUSE APPROVES 7% PROJECTS CUT; Economizing Bars Addition to Public Works Action-- Senecas Lose on Dam 285 Projects Included Military Projects Approved. Impact: This budget cut results in the construction of half-finished projects, which later become trendy urban ruins. In the future, hipsters will call it art.. Fact: Cutting public works projects is like throwing a party and telling half the guests to leave—awkward, but somehow still a good time for some..
• Headline: UNION HEAD TELLS OF WOMAN'S ROLE; Testifies Prostitute Helped to Organize Bakers Expense Issue Raised UNION HEAD TELLS OF WOMAN'S ROLE. Impact: The testimony about the role of a prostitute in union organization leads to a new wave of grassroots movements, where unconventional leaders rise to prominence. Who knew a baker’s dozen could mean a dozen new ideas?. Fact: When it comes to organizing, sometimes it takes a little... unconventional expertise to get the dough rising..
• Headline: FRICK SEES PERIL IN BASEBALL BILL; He Urges Congress to Keep Sport Free of Trust Laws Warns of Chaos FRICK SEES PERIL IN BASEBALL BILL San Francisco Waiting. Impact: Frick's warnings lead to Congress implementing strict regulations, creating a weird future where baseball players are treated like corporate employees. Everyone ends up with a 401(k) but no one wants to play anymore.. Fact: Baseball and bureaucracy mix about as well as oil and water—one’s all about freedom and the other wants to put you in a cubicle..
• Headline: CERRO DE PASCO TO BUY PROCESSOR; Mining Concern Will Acquire Lewin-Mathes Co. in an Exchange of Stock A Step in Diversification. Impact: Cerro de Pasco’s acquisition sparks a mining boom that eventually leads to the discovery of a rare mineral that becomes the new gold. Everyone who invested early becomes mysteriously rich—except the miners, of course.. Fact: Mining companies are basically treasure hunters with a lot more paperwork and a lot less Indiana Jones..
• Headline: G.E. to Keep 'Fair Trade' Policy Despite Recent Legal Setbacks; Statement Is Read G.E. TO CONTINUE ITS 'FAIR TRADE' Backed by Attorneys Reasons for Decision.. Impact: G.E.’s decision to maintain its 'fair trade' policy becomes the foundation for a future where brands engage in epic battles of public relations, turning marketing into a gladiatorial sport.. Fact: Fair trade: because nothing says 'we care' like a company that sells you overpriced coffee while paying their workers in hugs..