SEPTEMBER 29, 1956

Full News Archive

• Headline: Madison Cooper, Celebrated Novelist Passes. Impact: If Madison Cooper hadn't penned his novels, the literary world might have been deprived of a whole genre of awkward dinners and existential crises, leading to a shortage of awkward small talk at parties for decades to come. Fact: Madison Cooper's works are said to have inspired countless aspiring authors—mostly because they realized they could do better.
• Headline: Rev. John Newman Celebrates 93rd Birthday. Impact: Rev. Newman's long life and teachings inspired a generation of activists, whose efforts for social justice paved the way for future movements—even if those movements sometimes included a lot of yelling. Fact: At 93, Rev. Newman was probably the wisest person in the room. Too bad nobody ever asked him for directions.
• Headline: NATO Council Disturbed By Bonn Draft Term Cut; BONN DRAFT CUT DUSTURBS ALLIES Problems for NATO Seen French Voice Concern George Assures Adenauer. Impact: This moment of confusion among NATO allies led to an elaborate game of diplomatic musical chairs, where nobody actually knew who was supposed to sit next to whom, resulting in some very awkward summits. Fact: The Bonn Draft cut might have been the first time NATO representatives collectively Googled 'What to do during an awkward silence.'.
• Headline: Poznan Court Lets Accused Testify Freely on Uprising; Cries by June Strikers for 'Free Poland,' 'Bread and Living Wages' and Ouster of the Russians Are Put in Evidence POZNAN ACCUSED ARE NOT CURBED. Impact: The Poznan court's decision to allow free testimony turned into a rallying cry for future uprisings across Eastern Europe, as citizens realized that perhaps they did have a voice after all, leading to a few more gray hairs for the ruling powers. Fact: The cries for 'Free Poland' and 'Bread' were so loud, even the pigeons took notice and began to protest for better breadcrumbs.
• Headline: Foreign Affairs; Role of the United Nations in the Suez Crisis United States Policy Appearance vs. Reality. Impact: The ongoing debates about the UN's role in the Suez Crisis helped shape future international relations—mainly that everyone can talk a big game but no one really knows how to play. Fact: Spoiler alert: the UN still struggles with the 'appearance vs. reality' concept—especially when it comes to their lunch meetings.
• Headline: COURT VOIDS CASE AGAINST COSTELLO; Wiretaps Tainted Evidence in Citizenship Suit, Judge Says--U.S. to Appeal Decision Given on Third Day Two Tell of Wiretaps COURT VOIDS CASE AGAINST COSTELLO. Impact: The court's decision to void the case against Costello due to wiretap evidence created a precedent that made future legal teams rethink their 'creative' investigation strategies, leading to more traditional—yet still questionable—methods. Fact: The judge's ruling against wiretaps in this case is a reminder that sometimes, the best way to avoid trouble is to just not listen in on your neighbors.
• Headline: Farmers Reminded on Tax. Impact: The reminder about gasoline tax refunds may have sparked a new appreciation for tax forms—a profound realization that led farmers to become the most organized group of people on the planet, at least until harvest season. Fact: Farmers and taxes go together like peanut butter and jelly—except in this case, the jelly is sticky, and the peanut butter is slightly bitter.