AUGUST 30, 1956

Full News Archive

• Headline: Virginia Legislative Session on School Bills. Impact: The 60 school bills filed sparked a minor revolution in the Virginia education system, leading to a nationwide trend where every state decided they needed 60 new school bills as well. It ultimately caused a national paper shortage, as no one could keep up with the paperwork. Fact: Did you know that Virginia's school bills have been known to multiply faster than rabbits? Just wait until the 61st bill shows up uninvited to the party!.
• Headline: New Administrative Capital in Arctic Established. Impact: The Arctic legislative meeting in a town named Aklavik led to a decades-long debate over whether towns should be named after their residents or after the nearest ice cream flavor. Spoiler: the ice cream flavor won. Fact: Fun fact: 'Aklavik' translates to 'the place where you hope your WiFi works, but it probably won't.'.
• Headline: German Reds Praise Local Rule Debate. Impact: The German Reds’ debate on rights ignited a series of discussions that would eventually lead to the invention of the democracy-themed board game. Yes, Monopoly was actually inspired by political debates!. Fact: Did you know that discussing local rule can lead to a lot of heated arguments over who gets to be the banker? Spoiler: It’s usually not the guy with the most money.
• Headline: Erie Shift to Hoboken Approved. Impact: The Erie shift to Hoboken was a pivotal moment that resulted in an unexpected surge in Hoboken souvenirs. People still cling to their 'I Love Hoboken' mugs like they’re gold. Fact: Did you know that Hoboken was once considered as a name for the next big tech startup? Turns out, they just wanted to get the Erie shift right first.
• Headline: VENEZUELAN MINE SOLD; American and National Group to Exploit Rich Iron Deposit. Impact: The sale of the Venezuelan mine set off a chain reaction that led to the world’s first 'Iron Ore Olympics,' where the only event was rock throwing. Surprisingly, it became quite popular. Fact: Did you know that iron ore is the only mineral that can make your biceps look bigger just by association? It’s true, look it up!.
• Headline: BRITAIN PERMITS FRANCE TO BASE TROOPS ON CYPRUS; Request by Paris Cites Suez Tension and Protection of Nationals in Mideast NASSER PARLEY MONDAY Egyptian President Agrees to Meet 5-Nation Group Then on Canal Issue Envoy Delivers Note BRITAIN PERMITS FRENCH IN CYPRUS Prestige Held at Stake 'Exchange of Views' Stressed. Impact: Britain allowing France to base troops in Cyprus was the first time two countries thought, 'Hey, let’s just park our military here for fun.' This led to an international game of 'who can build the biggest sandcastle' on the island. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more fragile than international relations is a sandcastle made by military personnel? Good luck defending that!.
• Headline: COW PALACE RECOVERING; G.O.P. Convention Site Getting Ready for a Horse Show. Impact: The Cow Palace getting ready for a horse show was a bizarre turning point in history, eventually leading to the establishment of a new Olympic sport: synchronized cow herding. Fact: Did you know the Cow Palace was once considered a venue for a reality show about cowboys? The pilot episode was never aired—thankfully.
• Headline: BUTLER ASSERTS HE HAS TOP ROLE; Democratic Chairman Says Finnegan Will Handle Only One-Tenth of Campaign Independent Vote Sought. Impact: Butler’s assertion about his campaign role changed the course of Democratic strategies forever, leading to a newfound obsession with volunteer recruitment that resulted in an annual 'Volunteer Olympics'. Fact: Did you know that the only thing less certain than campaign roles is how many volunteers will actually show up for the free pizza?.
• Headline: Head of State Prison Named. Impact: The appointment of D. McMann as principal keeper of Clinton State Prison triggered a wave of memes and hashtags about prison management that haunts the internet to this day. Fact: Did you know that being a principal keeper sounds way cooler than it actually is? It’s basically just being in charge of a really big, really angry daycare.
• Headline: President Asks World Back Parley's Proposals on Suez; Says London Plan Will Assure 'Peaceful Solution' of Problem--Is Glad Nasser Agreed to Meet Menzies' Group PRESIDENT URGES SUPPORT ON SUEZ. Impact: Eisenhower's plea for world support on the Suez proposals sparked a chain of diplomatic negotiations that ultimately led to the invention of the phrase, 'Let’s not argue, let’s just agree to disagree on the next war.'. Fact: Did you know that diplomatic meetings often come with a side of awkward small talk? Nothing says ‘let’s resolve conflicts’ like discussing the weather.