JUNE 29, 1956

Full News Archive

• Headline: Moses Cautious on Niagara Power Plans. Impact: If Moses had been more enthusiastic about Niagara power, we might have had a thousand more waterfalls to trip over in the future. Who knew a cautious approach could lead to fewer electrical hazards and more tourism disasters?. Fact: Moses was known for his cautious nature; he once hesitated before choosing a flavor of ice cream..
• Headline: Senate Rejects Major Foreign Aid Reduction. Impact: The Senate's rejection of foreign aid cuts was the moment when Congress realized that keeping Tito happy was more important than cutting checks. This decision possibly led to the phrase 'We’re all in this together' being uttered at least a million times in the following decades.. Fact: This was probably the last time the Senate was united on something that didn’t involve donuts..
• Headline: PRESIDENT BEGINS TO REGAIN WEIGHT. Impact: As the President began regaining weight, it sparked a nationwide trend of 'presidential fitness.' His struggle with weight led to the creation of gym memberships, which later evolved into the modern-day obsession with yoga pants.. Fact: The President was on the brink of inventing the salad, but instead opted for a cheeseburger..
• Headline: U.S. TO KEEP OUT OF STEEL FIGHT; PARLEYS BOGGED; Mitchell Plans No Attempt to Avert Wide Shutdown at Midnight Tomorrow TALKS TO GO ON TODAY McDonald Charges 'Lockout' --Moreell Denies Industry Plotted to Close Mills. Impact: By staying out of the steel fight, the U.S. inadvertently set the stage for future labor disputes, which would inspire a series of dramatic movies and countless memes about unions. Who knew steel could be so dramatic?. Fact: The only thing more convoluted than this steel dispute is trying to explain it to a toddler..
• Headline: BILL ON SCHOOL AID ASSAILED IN HOUSE. Impact: The harsh critique of the school aid bill ignited a firestorm of educational debates that are still burning today. Who knew that attacking a bill could lead to decades of discussions about school lunch menus?. Fact: In the South, they still debate whether grits should be considered a side dish in schools..
• Headline: WAR ON MOSQUITO DECLARED BY CITY; Board Votes $101,200 for Air and Ground Attack--Sets Brooklyn Traffic Study. Impact: The declaration of war on mosquitoes may have inadvertently led to the creation of the bug spray industry. In the future, mosquito repellent would become a summer staple, and people would find themselves debating the merits of DEET vs. essential oils.. Fact: If mosquitoes had feelings, they’d probably file for emotional distress over this declaration..
• Headline: House Unit Adopts Plan For 3d Unknown Soldier. Impact: The decision to inter an unidentified soldier from the Korean War paved the way for future memorials, making it a cornerstone of American remembrance. This act likely led to countless family road trips to Arlington, where kids ask, 'Are we there yet?'. Fact: The Unknown Soldier is known for being a fantastic listener—mostly because he doesn't have anything to say..
• Headline: CHOU BIDS CHIANG CONFER ON WAYS TO 'FREE' TAIWAN; Red China's Premier Urges Nationalists to Take Part in 'Peaceful Liberation'. Impact: Chou’s bid for peaceful negotiations over Taiwan was the first step toward a series of complicated diplomatic dances that would make even the best ballroom dancers dizzy. Who knew politics could be this much like a soap opera?. Fact: The phrase 'peaceful liberation' has been used so often it should probably be trademarked by the government..
• Headline: $108,000,000 ASKED FOR MORE SCHOOLS. Impact: Asking for $108 million for more schools kicked off a never-ending cycle of educational funding debates. This event set the stage for future generations to ask, 'Why is school funding always in jeopardy?'. Fact: The last time someone asked for money for schools without a fight, unicorns were still considered real..