JUNE 13, 1956

Full News Archive

• Headline: Eisenhower Signs Official Papers Post-Surgery. Impact: Eisenhower missing the Panama talks set off a series of diplomatic blunders that resulted in a bizarre international pizza competition being organized instead. The world learned that when leaders miss meetings, culinary arts take the stage!. Fact: Did you know that Eisenhower's favorite pizza topping was pineapple? Too bad he missed the chance to negotiate a fruit treaty!.
• Headline: Somali Concerns Over Egyptian Influence. Impact: Somalia's petition to the U.N. about Egypt's political shenanigans catalyzed a never-ending cycle of diplomatic complaints, resulting in a secret society of diplomats who only communicate via interpretative dance.. Fact: Fun fact: The 'Somali Dem Party' once tried to host a dance-off to resolve disputes. Spoiler: it ended with a lot of confused voters..
• Headline: Expert on 'Probability'; Warren Weaver. Impact: Warren Weaver's expertise in probability led to an unforeseen obsession with coin flipping among future statisticians, causing countless debates about whether to trust fate or math when it came to important life decisions.. Fact: Did you know that the odds of a coin landing on heads are statistically better if you don't flip it at all? Just saying..
• Headline: GOVERNMENT ROLE CITED; Johns Hopkins Seniors Told It Will Increase Functions. Impact: Johns Hopkins seniors were told the government would increase its functions, which inadvertently inspired a future generation of students to start a petition for a 'Student Government' that actually listens. Spoiler: they failed.. Fact: Fun fact: The only function the government actually increased was its ability to send emails about mandatory events. Thrilling!.
• Headline: Argentina Executes Leader of Rebellion; ARGENTINE CHIEF OF REBELS SHOT. Impact: The execution of the Argentine rebel leader sparked a wave of revolutionary fervor that led to the world's most dramatic game of 'capture the flag,' played by future generations in various Latin American countries.. Fact: In a twist of irony, Valle's last words were reportedly 'I should have just stuck to knitting.'.
• Headline: PRESIDENT URGES SENATE RESTORE 600 MILLION IN AID; Sends Appeal From Hospital --George Will Lead Fight for Funds--G.O.P. Split. Impact: Eisenhower's hospital appeal for aid funding resulted in a bizarre series of bake sales organized by concerned citizens that eventually became the model for future charity events, complete with questionable baked goods.. Fact: Fun fact: Eisenhower's hospital food was so bad that it inspired the phrase 'hospital cuisine' as a euphemism for terrible dining..
• Headline: Power Fails, Polio Victim Dies. Impact: The tragic death of M Bucher due to a power failure led to a massive increase in the demand for backup generators, resulting in the invention of the world's first solar-powered iron lung. Progress does come at a cost.. Fact: Ironically, Bucher was a fan of power outages, claiming they made for the best reading sessions. Talk about a dark twist..
• Headline: Dulles Denies Differences With President on Neutrals; DULLES DISAVOWS RIFT ON NEUTRALS. Impact: Dulles denying differences with Eisenhower on neutrals caused a ripple effect that led to future leaders using the phrase 'we're on the same page' while actively writing different books.. Fact: Did you know that Dulles once tried to convince everyone he was a neutral party in a heated game of Monopoly? It did not end well..
• Headline: COLUMBIA GETS $15,120; Fund Sets Up Scholarship for Student Not Now a Leader. Impact: Columbia University receiving funds for a scholarship for a student who is not a leader inadvertently initiated the 'average student' movement, which led to a surprising number of sitcoms featuring lovable losers.. Fact: Fun fact: The scholarship's first recipient was a procrastinator who thought 'leadership' was just a fancy term for 'taking naps.'.