JUNE 7, 1956

Full News Archive

• Headline: Eisenhower's Foreign Aid Link to Peace. Impact: If only Congress had restored that $1.1 billion cut, perhaps the U.S. would be known today as a global peace ambassador instead of the country that invented the concept of 'peacekeeping' while simultaneously keeping a list of countries to invade. Fact: Eisenhower once said, 'In the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the amount of aid you can wrangle from Congress.'.
• Headline: NYS Nurses Association Economic Goals. Impact: This push for nurses' economic status could lead to a future where nurses are celebrated like rock stars, but until then, they're still just getting coffee and giving you that look when you sneeze. Fact: Nurses have been known to save lives and sanity, sometimes simultaneously. The real miracle is how they manage to do both with a smile.
• Headline: PHOTO TYPESETTER SHOWN PUBLISHERS. Impact: This phototypesetting machine could be the start of a chain reaction leading to the digital age, where we would eventually complain about how long it takes to scroll through our social media feeds. Fact: Before phototypesetting, publishers had to hand-set each letter, which explains why so many books about 'the art of patience' were written during that time.
• Headline: Dominican Exports Up. Impact: This boost in exports might have set the stage for the Dominican Republic to become the go-to tropical destination for people escaping winter, all while sipping coffee and pretending they know about cigars. Fact: The Dominican Republic is known for its delicious coffee, which is a great excuse for why you keep waking up at the crack of dawn—it's not the sun, it's the coffee!.
• Headline: President Calls a Day Without Fun 'Wasted'. Impact: If only people had heeded the President's advice, we might have seen a nationwide movement for fun, leading to a world where boredom is illegal and joy is the currency. Fact: Fun is often seen as optional—much like exercise. But remember, laughter burns calories, so get your giggle on!.
• Headline: EXPORT RISE EXPECTED; Sharp Increase Is Predicted for Japanese Shipments. Impact: This prediction could have kickstarted a shipping boom, leading to Japan becoming the global leader in exporting everything from electronics to sushi, while other countries are still trying to figure out how to pack a lunch. Fact: Japan's export prowess is so strong that you might find yourself buying sushi from a vending machine—because why not?.
• Headline: Tito Says He Would Visit U.S. for Parleys if Asked; Yugoslav Leader Avows Continuing Amity Despite New Soviet Tie--Undisturbed by Congress Move to Cut Aid TITO IS PREPARED TO COME TO U.S. Yugoslavs Unconcerned Tito Bid Discounted. Impact: Tito's willingness to visit the U.S. could have set off a series of diplomatic events leading to endless awkward dinners and the invention of the 'peace summit selfie.'. Fact: Tito was quite the character—some say his charm was so potent, it could have single-handedly melted the Cold War, if only he had a better PR team.
• Headline: BONN WIDENS HELP TO HITLER VICTIMS; Lower House Agrees to Revise Law on Restitution to Cover More Persecuted Persons Law Helping Victims of Nazism Widened in Bonn's Lower House. Impact: This legislation could have sparked a whole trend of restitution, leading to a world where no one ever has to say, 'Sorry, we don't have a budget for that' when it comes to doing the right thing. Fact: The act of restitution is like paying back your friend for lunch, only in this case, the debt has been accumulating since the 1940s—and it's a bit more serious than just a sandwich.