MARCH 10, 1956

Full News Archive

• Headline: Human Predictions: Arts vs. Atomic Future. Impact: If only we had listened to the prophecies of the arts instead of investing in atomic bombs, perhaps we'd have a world where 'Star Wars' was just a movie and not a political strategy. Fact: Prophecy has a funny way of never actually predicting anything right. Just ask the ancient Greeks.
• Headline: Johns-Manville Plans Major Expansion in 1956. Impact: This $26 million investment in stock options and splits likely led to the creation of the world's most complicated boardroom jargon, paving the way for today's corporate 'speak' that sounds like a foreign language. Fact: Stock splits are like magic tricks for adults: they make you feel richer without actually changing anything in your wallet.
• Headline: WALDO SHUMWAY, AN EDUCATOR, 64; Provost of Stevens Institute Dies--Biologist Taught at Columbia and Amherst Member of Expedition. Impact: Waldo Shumway's death likely led to a temporary gap in the wisdom of biologists, pushing the field toward the more questionable theories of 'experts' who never left their labs. Fact: In the world of academia, sometimes the biggest legacy is just being the person who remembered to bring snacks to the meetings.
• Headline: TUNIS MOB SACKS TWO U.S. OFFICES; French Demonstrators Raid Consulate and Library-- Loss Put at $20,000 Damage Put at $20,000 Americans Held Unpopular French Mob in Tunis Wrecks Consulate and Library of U.S.. Impact: The Tunis mob's attack on U.S. offices probably resulted in a diplomatic headache that had repercussions in the region for decades, proving once again that angry mobs can alter international relations faster than a tweet. Fact: Nothing says 'welcome' like a good old-fashioned sacking of your consulate. It's like the ultimate 'Do Not Disturb' sign.
• Headline: Hungary Independence Day. Impact: Hungary's Independence Day celebration might have inspired future generations to fight for their own freedoms, although it also probably led to an increase in overly patriotic songs that nobody actually enjoys. Fact: Independence days are the only days when everyone suddenly remembers they have a distant relative from that country they didn't know about.
• Headline: JOHN FASSETT, 72, DIES; Canadian Radio 'Ham' Relayed Messages as Titanic Sank. Impact: John Fassett's death might have meant that some future Titanic survivors never heard the critical messages he relayed, leading to a world where people might still think iceberg warnings are optional. Fact: Being a 'ham' radio operator is just like being on social media, but with a lot more static and fewer selfies.
• Headline: HOWARD B. MYERS, STATISTICIAN, DIES; Director of Research for Committee on Economic Development Was 55 Joined New Deal in 1933 Returned to Illinois. Impact: Howard B. Myers' passing left a gap in statistical research that may have inadvertently led to the rise of dubious economic forecasts and an era of 'gut feeling' decisions. Fact: Statistics can be manipulated to tell any story—kind of like how politicians use polls to justify their existence.
• Headline: BRITAIN DEPORTS CYPRUS PRELATE IN WAR ON TERROR; Expels Archbishop Makarios as Backer of Violence, Also Bishop and Aides DESTINATION IS A SECRET Island Terrorists Hit Back With Bombs--Greece Calls Envoy in London Home Evidence Against Them BRITAIN DEPORTS CYPRUS PRELATE Reaction Expected Cyprus Replies With Bombings. Impact: The deportation of Archbishop Makarios probably escalated tensions in Cyprus and fueled a series of retaliatory acts that would make a game of chess look like a friendly picnic. Fact: Deportation: the official term for 'we don't want your kind here, and we don’t care where you go.'.
• Headline: MISS LUCY SEEKS FALL ADMISSION; Bids Court Rule Expulsion by Alabama U. Illegal-- Lost Time Is Cited Fall Admission Asked Miss Lucy Firm on Views. Impact: Miss Lucy's legal battle for admission might have inspired future generations of students to fight for their education, proving that 'no' often means 'try harder' in the academic world. Fact: If at first you don't succeed, just keep suing until they let you in. It's the American way!.