MARCH 8, 1956

Full News Archive

• Headline: Traffic Court Challenges Discussed at Yale. Impact: The traffic judges' complaints led to more complaints, which eventually resulted in the invention of the traffic cone. Yes, a world filled with brightly colored plastic just because judges couldn't handle their caseload.. Fact: Traffic judges today are still figuring out if they have the right to revoke driver's licenses for bad karaoke performances. Spoiler: They don't..
• Headline: Tragic Avalanches Hit Northern Norway. Impact: The avalanche that buried 21 Norwegians sparked a series of safety regulations that eventually led to the invention of the 'safe snowball.' Now, kids can throw snowballs worry-free, knowing the laws of physics are on their side.. Fact: Norwegian houses are built to withstand heavy snow. Apparently, they just forgot to account for sudden bursts of avalanche! Oops!.
• Headline: Dr. White's Actions Praised. Impact: Dr. White's praised actions led to an unexpected trend of overly enthusiastic medical professionals who now think they’re the stars of their own medical dramas. Cue the dramatic music!. Fact: Vice Adm McIntire probably had a superhero cape under his uniform. The more you praise a doctor, the more they believe they can save the world—one patient at a time!.
• Headline: PRESIDENT WARNS OF SERIOUS TURN IN THE 'COLD WAR'; Asserts East-West Conflict Has Veered Into Political and Economic Fields DISCOUNTS MAJOR WAR But Then Cautions Against 'Powder Kegs'--Supports Flexible Foreign Aid Encouraged by Soviet PRESIDENT WARNS OF 'SERIOUS' TURN Atom Bid Pleases Allies. Impact: Eisenhower's warning about the Cold War prompted a series of overly dramatic political speeches, leading to the eventual rise of political meme culture. Thanks, Ike, for making politics entertaining!. Fact: Political 'powder kegs' are a lot like actual powder kegs—one little spark, and it’s a fireworks show! Just remember to keep your friends close and your political analysts closer..
• Headline: ELECTRONIC RAIL CENTER; New York Central to Build New Buffalo Classification Yard. Impact: The construction of the electronic rail center meant that trains could communicate without yelling across the tracks. This eventually led to train romances and the first-ever train wedding—complete with a whistle!. Fact: Trains might be the only creatures on Earth that can send messages faster than the speed of light through a text message. So much for human communication!.