JANUARY 13, 1956

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Circus Life and Feline Devotion. Impact: The obsession with ferocious felines led to a global increase in cat videos, which would eventually cause the internet to implode under the sheer weight of cat memes. Who knew the feline fascination would turn the world into a cat-ocracy?. Fact: Did you know that Hoagland’s 'Cat Man' inspired an entire genre of cat-related literature? Yes, because what the world needed was more books about cats.
• Headline: Gov. Herter Advocates G.O.P. Moderation. Impact: Gov. Herter’s call for moderation in the GOP triggered a series of events that led to a thousand debates over what 'moderation' really means, leaving political scientists eternally confused. Fact: Fun fact: 'Moderation' in politics often means 'doing the same thing but pretending it's different.'.
• Headline: Music: A Good Neighbor Policy; Max Rudolf Drops Up to Visit Philharmonic 'Met' Director Repays Calls by Mitropoulos Rich Conducts at 'Met'. Impact: The 'Good Neighbor Policy' led to a series of awkward neighborly exchanges where orchestras were swapped for lawnmowers and everyone ended up in a cacophony of musical disputes at the fence. Fact: Did you know that Offenbach's 'Tales of Hoffman' is often considered the original soundtrack to neighborhood feuds?.
• Headline: Named Chief Attorney Of Legal Aid Society. Impact: D. Du Vivier's appointment as Chief Attorney led to a dramatic increase in legal jargon that would confuse future generations, ultimately resulting in a rise in the popularity of legal dramas on television. Fact: Did you know that being a Chief Attorney is just a fancy way of saying you get to argue for a living? And yes, it is as exhausting as it sounds.
• Headline: STATE BILL SEEKS MORE VOTING TIME; G.O.P. for Adding 2 Hours in Presidential Election to Ease Congestion. Impact: The push for more voting time created a ripple effect leading to the invention of the voting snooze button, which allowed voters to hit 'snooze' on their civic duties for a few extra hours. Fact: Did you know that the G.O.P.'s biggest concern was not congestion, but rather getting voters to show up at all? Because, you know, democracy.
• Headline: G.I.'s Sue to Bar Trial in Japan. Impact: The G.I.s' lawsuit to avoid trial in Japan resulted in a precedent that led to future generations of soldiers mastering the art of legal loopholes, thus creating a new breed of 'legal warriors'. Fact: Did you know that suing to avoid trial is like trying to skip gym class? It rarely ends well, but it’s worth a shot!.
• Headline: EXTRA FLOOD AID ASKED; President Calls for 60 Million --Says 'Need Is Immediate'. Impact: President Eisenhower's plea for flood aid led to a long-lasting tradition of politicians using natural disasters as a fundraising opportunity, eventually culminating in the creation of the 'Disaster Fund Spectacular' telethon. Fact: Did you know that flood relief funds have been known to disappear faster than your last paycheck? It’s a magic trick politicians love to perform.