OCTOBER 23, 1955

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bulganin Applauds Disarmament Progress. Impact: Bulganin's praise for disarmament inspection led to a series of international treaties that, ironically, fueled an arms race because everyone wanted to outsmart each other on inspection protocols. Thanks, guys!. Fact: Did you know that praising disarmament is like complimenting someone for not robbing a bank? It’s great, but let’s not throw a parade just yet..
• Headline: Generous Donation to Wittenberg College. Impact: This generous donation transformed Wittenberg into a haven for future inventors, some of whom would later invent the world's most useless gadgets, thus proving that money can't buy common sense.. Fact: Fun fact: $1.5 million in 1950 is like $15 million today, which is almost enough to fund a college course on 'How to Spend Money Wisely.'.
• Headline: U.S. Delays Response on Forced Labor Issue. Impact: The U.S. delaying action on forced labor gave way to a decade of hand-wringing over human rights that would eventually lead to awareness and reforms... much later. Because why act fast when you can ponder?. Fact: Did you know that the State Department's 'cool' attitude was probably just them trying to look busy while sipping coffee? Slow and steady wins the procrastination race..
• Headline: Outlook for the Business Boom; Will it last? An economist presents three principal views of the situation and gives his reasons for believing the pattern of economic growth can be controlled.. Impact: This article about the business boom led to economists being treated like rock stars at cocktail parties, which is ironic since the actual rock stars were probably more stable than the economy.. Fact: Did you know that economists love to analyze growth patterns while conveniently ignoring the fact that they can’t predict the weather? They’re like fortune tellers, but with a degree..
• Headline: The Saar Votes. Impact: The Saar votes set off a chain reaction of regional independence movements, proving that sometimes a simple vote can unleash a tidal wave of nationalism and a lot of paperwork.. Fact: Did you know that voting in the Saar was so integral that if they got it wrong, they would have to hold a 'Do-Over' election? Because nothing says democracy like a second chance..
• Headline: Into the Wild Places; AFTER YOU, MARCO POLO. By Jean Bowie Shor. Illustrated. 294 pp. New York: McGraw Hill Book Company. $4.50.. Impact: This book about wild places inspired countless explorers to venture out, many of whom got lost, leading to more maps and a greater appreciation for GPS technology. Thanks, Marco Polo!. Fact: Did you know that if Marco Polo had GPS, he might have just stayed home and ordered takeout? The world would have been a much less adventurous place..
• Headline: SAAR VOTES TODAY ON EUROPEAN TIES; Referendum on Making Area Ward of Alliance Group Affect Western Unity. Impact: The Saar's referendum on European ties was a pivotal moment that led to the eventual formation of the EU, proving that sometimes it takes a vote to realize you’re better off together than apart... or at least that’s what they tell us.. Fact: Did you know that people voting on alliances is just like a group project in school? Everyone wants to be on the winning team, but no one wants to do the actual work..
• Headline: State Insurance Unit Halts Loyalty Tests; STATE UNIT DROPS ITS LOYALTY TEST. Impact: The discontinuation of loyalty tests paved the way for a more open and trusting state insurance system, which ironically led to more fraud, because trust is a dangerous game.. Fact: Did you know that dropping loyalty tests was kind of like deciding to trust a cat to not knock over your favorite vase? Spoiler: you will probably regret it..
• Headline: THE ROLE OF GRAPHIC DESIGNER; Museum of Modern Art Shows Diverse Work By Two Moderns. Impact: The Museum of Modern Art showcasing diverse works by graphic designers led to a graphic design revolution, where everyone suddenly thought they were an artist, resulting in countless poorly designed websites.. Fact: Did you know that a good graphic designer is like a unicorn? They exist, but finding one is a magical experience filled with disappointment and bad fonts..