OCTOBER 16, 1955

Full News Archive

• Headline: Nashua Triumphs at Jockey Club Gold Cup. Impact: Nashua's victory sparked a surge in horse betting, which inadvertently led to a spike in the popularity of horse racing-themed video games in the 90s. This ultimately resulted in a bizarre new sport: eSports Horse Racing, where players race pixelated horses in front of millions online.. Fact: Did you know that horse racing has been around since ancient times? Apparently, some people have always preferred watching a bunch of horses run around rather than, you know, doing actual work..
• Headline: Expansion of Borax Operations in 1955. Impact: The expansion of Borax operations led to a national obsession with cleaning supplies. Fast forward to the 21st century, and you have people hoarding borax like it’s the last roll of toilet paper during a pandemic.. Fact: Borax is so versatile, it can be used as a cleaning agent, insecticide, and even a laundry booster. It’s like the Swiss Army knife of household products, minus the cool blade..
• Headline: Big Gas Pipeline Completion to NYC. Impact: As the biggest gas pipeline became operational, it contributed to the rise of urban heat islands, which ironically made cities hotter and increased the demand for air conditioning. Thank you, gas pipeline, for making climate change a bit more comfortable!. Fact: The only thing bigger than the gas pipeline is the number of gaslighting politicians who still deny climate change. Keep up the good work, everyone!.
• Headline: The Test of a Good College Teacher; It is his success in promoting self-education. What is important is what goes on in the minds and hearts of his students, not parading his learning before a captive audience.. Impact: Dr. Morrison's article sparked a revolution in education, leading to the rise of self-help books and motivational speakers who, ironically, never actually taught anyone anything useful. Thanks, Dr. Morrison, for the avalanche of inspirational quotes!. Fact: Teaching is one of the few professions where you can spend years learning how to teach, only to have your students ignore you while they obsess over TikTok videos..
• Headline: MENON ADVOCATES DULLES-CHOU TALK; Indian Diplomat Pays a Visit to Secretary -- Declines to Say if He Urged Parley. Impact: Menon's meeting with Dulles was so secretive that it kickstarted an entire genre of spy thrillers. Little did they know, their conversation would inspire writers to create plots that involve more espionage than actual diplomacy.. Fact: If diplomacy were a video game, Menon and Dulles would be the ultimate cheat codes for starting international incidents. Just saying..
• Headline: People to Talk About; CHICAGO, WITH LOVE. A Polite and Personal History. By Arthur Meeker. Illustrated. 293 pp. New York: Alfred A. Knopf. $4.75.. Impact: Arthur Meeker's book about Chicago contributed to the rise of 'polarizing city love' which led to cities competing for affection through bizarre marketing gimmicks. Now, every city claims to be the 'most livable' while ignoring their potholes.. Fact: Chicago is famous for its deep-dish pizza, but did you know it’s also home to more than a few deep-seated rivalries? As if anyone needs more drama in their life!.
• Headline: PLANS DRIVE TO AID U. N.; Brooklyn Group Will Start Campaign on Oct. 24. Impact: The Brooklyn Group's membership drive was so successful that it led to the formation of the 'UN Enthusiasts Club,' which, despite its name, never actually contributed anything meaningful to the UN.. Fact: Membership drives are great because nothing says 'let’s make a difference' quite like standing in the rain trying to convince people to join your club..
• Headline: CROWDED COLLEGES. Impact: The crowded colleges situation led to a new trend in online learning, which ironically resulted in millions of students learning how to mute their professors instead of paying attention. Thanks for the distraction, overcrowded classrooms!. Fact: Crowded colleges mean more opportunities to meet people, or as students like to call it: 'more chances to avoid eye contact in the library.'.
• Headline: HEAD OF COLLEGE TO BE INSTALLED; Caswell of Teachers to Take Post Nov. 22 After Parley on Education by Scholars. Impact: The installation of Dr. Caswell as head of the college sparked a series of leadership changes across educational institutions, leading to a decade of 'educational reform' that changed nothing except the names on the doors.. Fact: In academia, the only constant is change, which is ironic considering most professors still use the same textbooks from the 90s. Progress!.
• Headline: Snider, Kaline Selected As Outstanding Players. Impact: The recognition of Snider and Kaline as outstanding players led to an influx of baseball-themed reality shows that made viewers question why we were so obsessed with watching grown men hit balls with sticks.. Fact: Baseball: the only sport where the best players can spend more time standing around than actually doing anything. It’s like watching grass grow, but with more hot dogs..