JULY 27, 1955

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mapai Leads Israeli Voting 1955. Impact: If Mapai hadn't led, we might have seen a surge in fashion trends based on the Herut party's questionable aesthetic choices, possibly leading to a nationwide obsession with unflattering suits and bizarre hats.. Fact: Did you know that political parties can actually change the course of history? Shocking, right? It's almost as if people care about who runs the government!.
• Headline: Piatigorsky Cancels Berkshire Festival Appearance. Impact: The cancellation of Piatigorsky's performance inadvertently led to the birth of a thousand amateur cellists, all convinced they could fill the void – spoiler alert: they couldn't.. Fact: Shoulder ailments are the new 'I can't come to work because my cat is sick' excuse. Who knew they could keep a world-class musician from playing?.
• Headline: Thomson's Insight in 'Books of The Times'. Impact: Had the book 'A Show of Force' not been reviewed, it could have led to a significant decline in literary debates, causing book clubs to resort to discussing the weather instead.. Fact: Book reviews: because who doesn't love a good opinion that nobody asked for?.
• Headline: APPROPRIATIONS BILL APPROVED BY SENATE. Impact: This bill's passage set off a chain reaction of government spending that would eventually lead to a national obsession with budget meetings—truly the stuff of nightmares.. Fact: Appropriations bills are a lot like New Year’s resolutions: everyone pretends they care, but in the end, they mostly just gather dust..
• Headline: STRATFORD FETE GIVES 'TEMPEST'; Raymond Massey Appears as Prospero at Connecticut Shakespeare Theatre. Impact: If not for this performance, we might have been deprived of a whole generation of high school students dramatically misinterpreting Shakespeare in their own productions—thank you, Stratford!. Fact: The Tempest: the one play that proves Shakespeare could have been a great director in modern cinema if only he had access to CGI..
• Headline: Color Film Winners Picked. Impact: This event likely catapulted color film into the spotlight, leading to a slow decline in black-and-white films and a resurgence in demand for brightly colored socks – because priorities.. Fact: Color film festivals: where the only thing brighter than the films are the egos of the filmmakers..
• Headline: $5,000,000 NEEDED TO REPLACE BUSES; City Faces Cost of 250 New Vehicles Unless Its Lines Are Sold by Nov. 1 $5,000,000 NEEDED TO REPLACE BUSES. Impact: The bus crisis might have indirectly led to a rise in bicycle sales, creating a new trend in hipster transportation, complete with ironic helmets and artisanal bike bell melodies.. Fact: Five million dollars for buses? Meanwhile, I can barely afford to replace my last 'perfectly good' pair of shoes!.
• Headline: DULLES SAYS BIG 4 PUSHED BACK WAR; Asks 'Non-Recourse to Force' as World Policy to Help Solve Major Problems DULLES SAYS BIG 4 PUSHED BACK WAR. Impact: Dulles's call for non-recourse to force could have sparked a global trend of peaceful negotiations, leading to the bizarre phenomenon of world leaders hosting mandatory yoga retreats.. Fact: The 'Big 4' — because nothing says peace like a group of people who can’t agree on what to order for lunch..