JULY 3, 1955

Full News Archive

• Headline: Surge in Army Re-enlistment Rates. Impact: Thanks to a pay bump, soldiers are now reenlisting like they’re signing up for a gym membership. Who knew that the allure of extra cash could lead to more boots on the ground? Next thing you know, the Army will be offering free coffee and doughnuts to boost morale.. Fact: Re-enlistment rates spiking due to pay raises is the military's version of 'you had me at hello.'.
• Headline: Ford's Recruitment of Canadian Workers. Impact: So Ford decided to recruit Canadians, and suddenly the entire automotive industry is a cross-border love story. If they had just brought in maple syrup as a signing bonus, who knows? We might have had a whole new brand of 'Canadian Muscle Cars.'. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing faster than a Canadian worker's handshake is how quickly they can say 'sorry' after bumping into you..
• Headline: NEW DELHI OPENS EXPORT CAMPAIGN. Impact: New Delhi's export campaign probably sent ripples so far that by now, we might be importing yoga mats and curry to our homes. Who knew that a little export push could lead to a global obsession with spices and meditation?. Fact: Did you know that every time you enjoy a curry, somewhere in New Delhi, a government official gets a bonus? No pressure or anything!.
• Headline: Jersey Bicycle Toll Rising. Impact: Rising bicycle tolls indicate a desperate attempt to balance state budgets. Who knew that biking to work could become a luxury? Next up, we'll be charging people for each pedal stroke – that’ll really get the economy moving.. Fact: Did you know that more bicycle-motor vehicle collisions lead to more bike lanes? It's like building a new highway after a car crash—totally logical!.
• Headline: Semper Fidelis. Impact: W Sheets' temporary divorce for reenlistment probably opened the floodgates for couples everywhere to create 'military sabbaticals.' Who knew love was so flexible? The next thing we know, divorce rates will skyrocket every time there's a draft.. Fact: Temporary divorces for military reasons are like the 'out of office' replies of relationships—'I'll be back, just need to fight some wars for a bit.'.
• Headline: Harriman Becomes 'the Guv'; Political success has changed him from a diffident to a folksy, speech-making -- and ambitious -- public figure.. Impact: Harriman transforming from diffident to folksy might have inspired future politicians to think they could just be themselves and still get elected. Spoiler alert: it only works if you can actually connect with people and not just memorize a script.. Fact: Did you know that becoming a folksy politician often involves a lot of practice pretending to enjoy small talk? 'How 'bout them apples?' is a classic starter..
• Headline: The 'Doctor Draft' Act; An Analysis of the Need, the Plan And the Effect on the Professions. Impact: The 'Doctor Draft' Act likely set the stage for future debates about healthcare and military service, leading to a timeline where doctors are basically on-call soldiers. Next, they'll be adding 'frontline doctor' to their resumes.. Fact: Fun fact: The medical profession may have been drafted, but the doctors still refuse to take orders from anyone who doesn't have a prescription pad..