JANUARY 19, 1955

Full News Archive

• Headline: Dulles Meets U.N. Chief on Fliers Case. Impact: Dulles meeting with Hammarskjold set the stage for future diplomatic discussions, paving the way for a love-hate relationship between the U.S. and China that would last decades. Who knew two jet pilots could lead to the eventual rise of political memes?. Fact: Did you know that the U.N. has had more secret meetings than a high school gossip circle? Spoiler: they still don’t solve anything.
• Headline: President Initiates New Job Bias Oversight. Impact: The creation of a new body to check job bias? Oh sure, because that’s exactly what the world needed: another committee that will ultimately do nothing but hold meetings about meetings. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'checking on job bias' is just code for 'let's pretend we're doing something'?.
• Headline: Thrill Killing of Trachtenberg in 1955. Impact: The 'thrill killing' became a sensationalized media term that would later influence countless crime dramas and make every teenager question their friend group. Thanks, Trachtenberg!. Fact: Did you know that 'thrill killing' is just a fancy way of saying 'the worst episode of a teen drama'?.
• Headline: College Head Is Named Cornell Vice President. Impact: The naming of a new vice president at Cornell promised to usher in a new era of educational excellence, or at the very least, a lot of new PowerPoint presentations. Fact: Did you know that vice presidents at universities are just like vice presidents in politics? They do a lot of work nobody really cares about until they screw up.
• Headline: MALLER IS NAMED CONTROLLER'S AIDE; Gulick Consultant to Become Levitt's Research Chief on Cities' Problems. Impact: Maller's appointment brought a new wave of research into urban problems—right before everyone realized those problems were largely unsolvable. Thanks for the optimism!. Fact: Did you know that being appointed as a controller’s aide is a bit like being elected as class president? Everyone assumes you know what you’re doing, but you really don’t.
• Headline: St. Christopher's Picks Administrator Pro Tem. Impact: The selection of an administrator pro tem was just another reminder that bureaucracy loves to keep things complicated. Because why not add an extra layer of confusion?. Fact: Did you know 'pro tem' is just Latin for 'we're not sure who else to put in this role'?.
• Headline: Industrialist Is Elected City Museum President. Impact: The election of a new museum president indicated a trend towards more business-minded individuals in cultural institutions, leading to art exhibits that sometimes look more like corporate ads. Fact: Did you know that being a museum president is basically like being the captain of a sinking ship? You’re steering it, but good luck keeping it afloat!.
• Headline: U. of P. to Raise Tuition. Impact: Raising tuition at the University of Pennsylvania set a precedent for tuition hikes across the nation, leading to a generation of students who would have to sell their kidneys to afford a degree. Fact: Did you know that tuition raises are just universities' way of saying, 'We love to watch you squirm!'?.