JANUARY 7, 1955

Full News Archive

• Headline: Senate Takes Action for Fair Inquiries. Impact: The Senate's drive for fair inquiries eventually leads to a secret society of witnesses who communicate through interpretive dance, making legal proceedings an absolute spectacle.. Fact: Fun fact: Filibusters were originally invented as a way to make Senate sessions last longer than your average family Thanksgiving dinner..
• Headline: British Unemployment Reaches Historic Low. Impact: The drop in British unemployment sparks a wave of optimism, leading to a nationwide obsession with tea and crumpets, which ironically becomes the leading cause of a biscuit shortage in the 80s.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'Keep calm and carry on' was actually invented to distract from unemployment rates? Spoiler: It didn't work..
• Headline: Eisenhower Proposes Public Works Agency. Impact: Eisenhower's push for a public works agency leads to an unexpected boom in construction spaghetti, as workers mistakenly build pasta-themed highways for future generations.. Fact: Fun fact: The public works agency was initially called the 'Let's Fix This Messy Country Agency' but they thought it lacked professionalism..
• Headline: FORMAL PARLEYS ON U. N. PRISONERS BEGUN IN PEIPING; Hammarskjold and Premier Chou Confer for 3 1/2 Hours -- Seven Aides Attend DETAILS ARE WITHHELD Reds, in Reversal, Give Three Foreign Correspondents, Visas to Enter China FORMAL PARLEYS ON CAPTIVES OPEN. Impact: The formal talks on U.N. prisoners result in a bizarre time loop where every involved party ends up attending the same dinner party in 1965, discussing their favorite colors instead.. Fact: Did you know? Hammarskjold's negotiation skills were so renowned that even his cats were trained to mediate disputes over the last piece of fish..
• Headline: TABLEWARE ON DISPLAY; Informal Elegance Is Theme in Pittsburgh Glass Show. Impact: The Pittsburgh Glass Show's theme of 'Informal Elegance' leads to a fashion revolution where people start wearing glass outfits, resulting in a series of unfortunate wardrobe malfunctions.. Fact: Did you know? The phrase 'You are what you eat' was almost replaced with 'You are what you display' after this show, until someone pointed out the risks..
• Headline: Music: The Philharmonic; George Szell Conducts -- Arrau Is Soloist. Impact: Szell's concert with Arrau inadvertently creates a new genre of music called 'Furious Piano', which becomes the soundtrack for every dramatic movie in the 1970s.. Fact: Did you know? George Szell once conducted a performance with a rubber chicken, claiming it was the future of orchestral expression. Spoiler alert: it wasn't..
• Headline: COLOR TV CAMERA MADE; G. M. Says It Will Transmit Microscopic Studies. Impact: The creation of the color TV camera leads to an era where everyone believes they need to dress in technicolor for their daily lives, resulting in a fashion disaster known as the 'Rainbow Apocalypse' in the 60s.. Fact: Fun fact: The first color TV broadcast was so bright that it caused several cats to question their existence and led to the first feline existential crisis..
• Headline: Trinity College Raises Tuition. Impact: Trinity College's tuition hike causes a chain reaction of students declaring their own independence and establishing a rogue tuition-free school in the basement of a nearby pizza joint.. Fact: Did you know? The raising of tuition fees has historically led to more protests than actual education, proving that students are better at marching than learning..