SEPTEMBER 8, 1954

Full News Archive

• Headline: Dewey's Decision Made at Family Gathering. Impact: Dewey’s decision at a family gathering led to decades of overthinking at family reunions. Now everyone’s second-guessing their holiday choices. Thanks a lot, Dewey.. Fact: Family gatherings have been the birthplace of many significant decisions, like buying a cat, but this one was particularly noteworthy..
• Headline: Belfrage's Controversial Admission Revealed. Impact: Belfrage's confession set off a chain reaction that made future politicians a little more paranoid, leading to an era where everyone suspected their neighbor of being a communist. Thanks, paranoia!. Fact: Meetings with communists in the '40s were about as popular as a root canal. No one wanted to admit they were attending, even if it was just for the snacks..
• Headline: Busy Peiping Impresses Attlee; Streets Swarming With Bicycles; BICYCLES IMPRESS ATTLEE IN PEIPING. Impact: Attlee's bicycle admiration could have sparked a global cycling craze, leading to a world where people commute in spandex and helmets instead of cars. Thanks, Attlee!. Fact: Bicycles—they're just like cars, but with 100% more legwork and 0% of the gas bills. What a deal!.
• Headline: EDWIN N. BENSON JR.. Impact: Edwin N. Benson Jr.'s appearance in headlines led to countless future Edwin N. Bensons who were extremely tired of being confused with him. Sorry, Ed!. Fact: Being an 'Edwin' is like being a 'John'—you really have to stand out to avoid being just another face in the crowd..
• Headline: CLIFFORD R. NOBLE. Impact: Clifford R. Noble's name in the headlines prompted thousands of future Cliffords to reconsider their life choices. Sorry, Cliff.. Fact: Being the 'R.' in your name is like wearing a name tag that says 'I’m definitely not a regular guy.'.
• Headline: MUTING OF HORNS SUCCEEDS IN PARIS; City Presses Drive Against Jaywalking and Moves to Clear Up Congestion. Impact: The muting of horns in Paris could have led to a world where drivers communicate solely through interpretive dance instead of honking. Paris, the city of love and silent roads.. Fact: Parisian traffic laws are like suggestions—more like guidelines than rules. Who needs jaywalking laws when you can just weave through traffic like a pro?.