AUGUST 23, 1954

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rev. Deacy's Call for Marian Devotion. Impact: This surge in devotion to Mary sparked a 20th-century cult of overzealous holy water drinkers. By the 90s, they were the main suppliers of 'miracle' bottled water on infomercials.. Fact: Did you know that devotion to Mary peaked right around the time people started wearing those 'What Would Mary Do?' bracelets? Coincidence? I think not!.
• Headline: Jets Chase Mysterious Sky Object. Impact: The jets' failure to catch the elusive object led to the birth of the UFO conspiracy genre, which in turn birthed the entire reality TV show industry. Thank you, unidentified flying object!. Fact: Did you know that this incident was so embarrassing for the jets that they considered a career change to become lawn ornaments instead?.
• Headline: Celebrating Dr. Irving S. Startz. Impact: Dr. Startz’s naming led to a chain reaction of other doctors feeling pressured to have equally catchy names, resulting in a rise in medical professionals like Dr. I.P. Freely.. Fact: Did you know that Dr. Startz was the first physician to prescribe sarcasm as a remedy? And look where that has gotten us!.
• Headline: MRS. P. A. FELLOWS DIES; Wife of. 'laile. Selassie AideI Succumbs in C__ apital at 57. Impact: Mrs. Fellows’ passing led to an unexpected shortage of cake recipes in her community, causing a temporary decline in neighborhood bake sales. The horrors!. Fact: Did you know that Mrs. Fellows was known to throw the best tea parties? Her secret? A little bit of charm and a lot of sugar!.
• Headline: Purple Heart Order Installs. Impact: The Purple Heart Order's installation of officers was the start of a long tradition of people gathering in fancy outfits to argue about who deserves a shiny medal. Spoiler: it’s never the people who actually need it.. Fact: Did you know that the Purple Heart was initially awarded for merit in chocolate eating contests? True story, but you won't find that in any official history book!.
• Headline: EEON S.'WACHTELL. Impact: Wachtell’s announcement triggered a wave of other people with equally unpronounceable last names to step into the limelight, leading to the longest spelling bee in history.. Fact: Did you know that Leon S. Wachtell was also a magician? Every time he introduced himself, he made everyone forget his last name!.
• Headline: Elmer A. Carter Named. Impact: Elmer A. Carter's name change caused a minor identity crisis among his friends, which eventually spiraled into an underground support group for people with boring names.. Fact: Did you know that Elmer's middle name was actually 'Awesome'? He just preferred to keep it a secret from the rest of the world..
• Headline: A Composer's Story; COMPOSER'S STORY OF LIFE IN POLAND. Impact: The publication about life in Poland inspired a wave of tourists to seek out their ancestral roots, leading to an increase in awkward family reunions and tours that no one wanted to attend.. Fact: Did you know that the composer was actually a descendant of a famous potato farmer? Now that’s a legacy!.
• Headline: LIGHT RAYS RUN CLOCK; Many Novelties are Displayed at Exhibit in Germany. Impact: The innovation at the exhibit sparked a worldwide obsession with novelty watches, leading to a decade where everyone wore watches that could also cook toast. We were living the dream!. Fact: Did you know that light rays were once considered the most fashionable accessory? They really light up any outfit... or room!.