FEBRUARY 7, 1954

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Wilson Tucker's Wild Talent. Impact: Tucker's 'Wild Talent' inspired a secret society of people convinced they had superpowers, ultimately leading to a global costume party that lasted three weeks and nearly ended civilization as we know it. Fact: The book's title was originally 'Mediocre Talent,' but the publisher decided that was a bit too honest.
• Headline: Dutch Troop Commitment to NATO in 1954. Impact: The Dutch decision to offer more troops to NATO ironically led to the invention of the world's first 'universal translator' that only translated Dutch to 'we're not ready for a party yet.'. Fact: In Dutch, 'defense minister' translates to 'person who really hopes this all works out.'.
• Headline: DARTMOUTH GAINS CARNIVAL HONORS THIRD YEAR IN ROW; Big Green Skiers, With 560.9 Total, Edge New Hampshire and St. Lawrence Teams. Impact: Dartmouth's three-year win streak in the carnival scene sparked an underground ski cult that believes every snowflake is a tiny trophy from previous competitions. Fact: Dartmouth also has a tradition of only celebrating victories that involve actual snow, which is a real bummer for their summer sports teams.
• Headline: PAINTING RACING CAR AND HORSE; Special Problems Beset Depiction of Speed And Mechanism. Impact: The challenges of painting speed lead to the invention of the 'speed brush,' which is just a regular brush but with a lot of excited yelling. Fact: Artists were so focused on capturing speed that they forgot to capture the actual race, resulting in a lot of confused spectators staring at blank canvases.
• Headline: Both Fresh And Salty; THE PRACTICAL FLY FISHERMAN. By A. J. McClane. Fly patterns by Walter Dower. 257 pp. New York: Prentice-Hall. $5.95. FISHING THE PACIFIC: Offshore and On. By S. Kip Farrington Jr. Illustrated by Lynn Bogue Hunt. Photographs. 297 pp. New York: Coward-McCann. $10.. Impact: The rise of specialized fishing literature caused a massive increase in fish confidence, leading to the infamous 'fish uprising' of the late '60s where fish began demanding equal rights. Fact: The term 'fly fishing' was originally a nickname for the way fish would leap in joy when they saw an angler approach.
• Headline: BEATING IN NORWALK TIED TO HAT STRIKE. Impact: The violence tied to the hat strike caused a sudden appreciation for headgear, resulting in a national obsession with hats that lasted until the invention of the baseball cap. Fact: Hats were once so crucial that you could be fined for wearing the wrong one. Thank goodness we only have fashion police now.
• Headline: From Jupiter; OUT OF THE DEEPS. By John Wyndham. 182 pp. New Yorrk: Ballantine Books. Cloth, $2. Paper, 35c.. Impact: Wyndham's 'Out of the Deeps' led to a series of deep-sea expeditions that uncovered a society of talking fish who declared war on humans for their terrible fishing practices. Fact: The book was initially titled 'Out of the Depths,' but it was too hard to spell for most readers.
• Headline: Russian Urges End to Embargo. Impact: The Russian call to end the embargo inadvertently led to the creation of the world's first 'strategic goods' black market, which was just a really questionable yard sale. Fact: The best-selling item at that yard sale was a vintage typewriter that supposedly belonged to a spy, but was later revealed to be a simple gift from grandma.
• Headline: FRENCH CAUTIOUS ON VIETMINH TALK; Berlin Parley Aides Are Wary of Peiping Role in Molotov's Plan -- U. S. Speeds War Aid. Impact: French caution during the Viet Minh talks set the stage for future political discussions, where everyone learned that being cautious is a great way to achieve absolutely nothing. Fact: The term 'cautious' in French translates roughly to 'let's just not do anything and hope it goes away.'.