NOVEMBER 22, 1953

Full News Archive

• Headline: Camera Innovations in 1953. Impact: The new offerings along Camera Row could eventually lead to an explosion of amateur photographers thinking they’re the next Ansel Adams. Spoiler alert: they’re not.. Fact: Camera Row: where dreams are captured... and sometimes just awkward family portraits..
• Headline: Bayway Circle to Be Revamped. Impact: The revamp of Bayway Circle might have set off a chain reaction of road improvements leading to an entire generation of drivers who actually know how to use turn signals. Shocking, I know.. Fact: Did you know that circles are just roads trying to find themselves? Keep going, Bayway Circle; you’ll figure it out!.
• Headline: PARENTS URGE CURFEW; Providence League Offers Code to Curb Teen-Age Parties. Impact: If parents had succeeded in imposing a curfew, we might have avoided the rise of TikTok influencers who have no concept of sleep. Thanks, Providence parents!. Fact: Did you know that curfews were originally invented to give parents an excuse to stop their kids from binge-watching the latest shows? 'It’s for your own good!'.
• Headline: PAST AND PRESENT; Brooklyn Museum Displays Egyptian Art -- The Pointilists -- One-Man Shows. Impact: The Brooklyn Museum showcasing Egyptian art may have inadvertently led to a rise in pyramid schemes. Because who doesn’t want to get rich quick with ancient artifacts?. Fact: Did you know that even mummies had more fun than most of us? They were literally wrapped up in their work..
• Headline: Piltdown Man Hoax Is Exposed; Jaw an Ape's, Skull Fairly Recent; THE PILTDOWN MAN IS EXPOSED AS HOAX. Impact: The exposure of the Piltdown Man hoax may have caused future archaeologists to triple-check their findings, leading to a new career path: 'Professional Hoax Detector.'. Fact: Did you know that the Piltdown Man was the original example of 'fake news'? 500,000 years later, we’re still at it!.
• Headline: SUES TO GET OUT OF JAIL; Thompson, Communist, Says Life Is Endangered by Injury. Impact: If Thompson had successfully gotten out of jail, we might have ended up with an entire series of courtroom dramas featuring a Communist hero. Spoiler: he would not have had a happy ending.. Fact: Did you know that suing to get out of jail is just a fancy way of saying, 'I don’t like my accommodations'?.
• Headline: SMITH PROVIDES DATA ON 460 IN 1953 CLASS. Impact: Smith providing data on the 1953 class may have led to the creation of a series of motivational posters: '60% of you will work or study, but the other 40%? Who knows?'. Fact: Did you know that 60% of statistics are made up on the spot? Just like the other 40% of people in your class!.