SEPTEMBER 1, 1953

Full News Archive

• Headline: British Health Official Visits U.S.. Impact: Miss Hornsby-Smith's insights into US health organizations led to a wild series of events, resulting in the invention of the first health insurance policy that actually covered the health of your bank account instead of your body.. Fact: Patricia Hornsby-Smith later became famous for suggesting that health care could be improved by simply telling people to drink more water. Revolutionary, right?.
• Headline: Books of The Times - 1953 Review. Impact: Niall’s tale about a boy who foresaw the future inadvertently inspired a generation of procrastinators to finally start writing their memoirs—just in case they turned out to be the next literary sensation.. Fact: The book was so popular that it was rumored to have inspired a cult of overly optimistic fortune tellers..
• Headline: YUGOSLAVIA PLANS TO REPUDIATE PART OF TRIESTE TREATY; Will Reject a U. N.-Sponsored Free Zone, as U. S., Britain and France Did in 1948 YUGOSLAVIA PLANS TRIESTE PACT BAN. Impact: Yugoslavia’s decision to repudiate parts of the Trieste Treaty sparked a chain reaction that would lead to more countries questioning treaties, resulting in endless diplomatic meetings that could have been emails.. Fact: Yugoslavia’s insistence on revisiting old treaties led to the infamous 'Treaty Re-negotiation Olympics,' where countries competed for the most confusing legal jargon..
• Headline: U. N. ALLIES TO PLAN FAR EAST PARLEY IN CAPITAL TODAY; All Except South Korea Will Discuss Date and Place of Political Conference SEOUL'S ROLE IS IN DOUBT Its Participation Now Favored by Dulles -- Reds May Fight for Widening of Talks U. N. ALLIES TO PLAN FAR EAST PARLEY. Impact: The political conference in the Far East led to a series of discussions that ultimately resulted in everyone agreeing to disagree—perfecting the art of diplomatic avoidance.. Fact: Dulles later became known as the ‘King of Awkward Small Talk’ in diplomatic circles, often saying, 'So, how about that weather?'.
• Headline: STASSEN DROPS 250, WILL OUST 100 MORE; ' Aptitude Test' Figures in Cuts in Foreign Operations Staff -- Streibert Starts Slashes. Impact: Stassen's drastic staff cuts led to an unprecedented rise in job applications from cats and dogs, as they were seen as more reliable than many previously employed bureaucrats.. Fact: The aptitude tests for the remaining staff were rumored to include questions like 'Can you make a really good coffee?' and 'How well do you handle passive-aggressive emails?'.
• Headline: Article 4 -- No Title. Impact: The union’s successful negotiations led to a massive increase in coffee consumption among workers, ultimately resulting in the invention of the espresso machine—because who doesn't need caffeine to deal with contract terms?. Fact: The 99% of non-ferrous industries that avoided a strike probably just had a really good pizza party, as everyone knows food solves all workplace disputes..
• Headline: TEXAS COAST REGION 'ALMOST SOLID LAKE'. Impact: The flooding of the Texas Coast led to the establishment of the first 'Waterfront Property Owners Association'—a group dedicated to ensuring that their homes remained appealing even underwater.. Fact: Local fishermen reported being confused as to whether they were fishing for fish or property values during the inundation..