JUNE 16, 1953

Full News Archive

• Headline: Clark Invited to Testify in 1953. Impact: The invitation for Clark to testify unleashed a flurry of future lawyers who realized that staying silent about tax cases could lead to more invites to testify, ultimately creating a thriving industry of legal consultations and awkward dinners with attorneys.. Fact: Did you know that 'silent on purpose' is actually a great strategy for avoiding awkward conversations at family gatherings?.
• Headline: Brossard Becomes Tariff Commission Chairman. Impact: Brossard's naming as Chairman caused a ripple effect that led to countless other people named Brossard being disappointed they weren't asked to lead anything, forever changing the course of their unremarkable lives.. Fact: Fun fact: Being named 'Chairman' doesn’t actually come with a chair; it’s just an ironic title that leads to more meetings..
• Headline: U.N. Panel Initiates Crime Research Study. Impact: The UN panel's crime study inadvertently inspired countless crime drama TV shows that glamorized criminality, leading to a generation believing being a criminal was a viable career choice—thanks, panel!. Fact: Did you know that every time you binge-watch a crime series, a sociologist cries? True story!.
• Headline: Atom Chief Asks Mercy. Impact: Prof. Perrin's appeal for mercy to Eisenhower inadvertently sparked the world's longest game of telephone, resulting in a future where mercy appeals become the hot new trend in politics.. Fact: Did you know that asking for mercy is just fancy talk for 'Please, don't throw me under the bus'?.
• Headline: Supreme Court Frees Bridges Under Statute of Limitations; BRIDGES IS SET FREE BY SUPREME COURT. Impact: The Supreme Court's ruling allowed Bridges to walk free, inspiring future criminals to think they could simply wait out their offenses, leading to a dramatic rise in the phrase 'Statute of Limitations' in crime novels.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing longer than the statute of limitations is the number of times people try to explain it at parties?.
• Headline: Kaufman Denies Plea Here. Impact: Kaufman's denial of the plea led to a series of events where people realized that calling others 'intruders' could be a fun way to spice up everyday conversations, thus ruining many coffee shop encounters.. Fact: Did you know that being called an intruder is just a fancy way of saying, 'You're not welcome here!'?.
• Headline: $723 ACCRUED LEAVE REPORTED BY DULLES. Impact: Dulles collecting $723 in leave pay inspired future bureaucrats to fantasize about the good old days of government perks, leading to a renaissance of 'How to milk the system' seminars.. Fact: Did you know that $723 in leave pay in 1953 is roughly equivalent to... still not enough for that new car you want?.
• Headline: 100 Bus Drivers Strike Over Seating of Negroes. Impact: The bus drivers' strike over seating arrangements sparked a nationwide conversation about civil rights that would eventually lead to countless debates, protests, and the realization that sometimes, it’s just about where you sit.. Fact: Did you know that bus seating disputes can lead to less drama than you’d find in a high school cafeteria? No lunch trays were harmed in the making of this conflict..
• Headline: Atlantic Crossing Takes 2 Weeks -- Under Water. Impact: The submarine's underwater crossing inspired a plethora of future underwater explorers, leading to a minor obsession with underwater selfies and a dramatic increase in the number of 'mermaid' Instagram accounts.. Fact: Did you know that taking a selfie underwater is a great way to ruin your phone and your day? #SubmarineLife.