APRIL 21, 1953

Full News Archive

• Headline: McCarthy Aides Visit London. Impact: The McCarthy aides’ trip to London set off a chain reaction that led to the invention of the phrase 'I need to check with my advisor'—which is still used to this day by politicians avoiding commitment.. Fact: R. Cohn and G. Schine later became infamous for their role in helping to develop the political strategy of dodging questions, a skill that has stood the test of time..
• Headline: Tragic Double Homicide in Jerusalem. Impact: The tragic slaying of the young woman and her uncle sparked an international debate about safety for tourists, leading to the invention of the phrase 'Don't go there'—which ironically made travel even more popular.. Fact: Did you know that this incident led to stricter safety protocols that ironically made Israel a top tourist destination? Because who doesn’t love a good thrill?.
• Headline: ARMY WOULD DOUBLE DRAFT OF PHYSICIANS. Impact: Doubling the draft of physicians created a ripple effect that transformed medical schools into pressure cookers, ultimately leading to the creation of the ‘Med School Survivor’ T-shirt.. Fact: Did you know that this decision encouraged more people to pursue careers in fields like interpretative dance instead? Because who needs to save lives when you can express yourself?.
• Headline: Named Head of Parley On Natural Resources. Impact: L.W. Douglas leading the conference on natural resources influenced future generations to prioritize sustainability, eventually causing a spike in hipster coffee shops that only serve organic, fair-trade beans.. Fact: Did you know that L.W. Douglas once tried to present a paper on natural resources at a rave? The attendees just wanted to know where to find the best glow sticks..
• Headline: Football Player Upheld On Worker Injury Pay. Impact: The case of E. Nemeth led to the establishment of worker protections that eventually resulted in the creation of the phrase 'I need a lawyer'—which became a staple in American culture.. Fact: Fun fact: Nemeth's victory in court inspired future athletes to claim compensation for everything, including the emotional trauma of missing a field goal..
• Headline: Indians Voted Civilized, So Worthy to Tote Guns. Impact: The passing of the D'Ewart bill led to an increase in gun sales, which ironically resulted in a rise in 'failed attempts at hunting' stories that became popular at family gatherings.. Fact: Fun fact: After this bill passed, every family member suddenly became an expert on firearms—because nothing says 'civilized' like a backyard BBQ with loaded guns..