JANUARY 31, 1953

Full News Archive

• Headline: McCormick's Diplomatic Mission to Europe. Impact: This mission sparked a chain reaction that led to the European adoption of avocado toast as a breakfast staple, proving that diplomacy can influence brunch menus.. Fact: Did you know that if you say 'Dulles' three times in front of a mirror, you summon a boring diplomatic meeting?.
• Headline: Solly Sachs' Departure for England. Impact: Sachs’s departure inadvertently led to a surge in British tea consumption, as he was the last person not drinking it at the local union meetings.. Fact: Fun fact: the British still hold a grudge against anyone named Solly for introducing 'soggy' biscuits..
• Headline: Ex-Judge Testifies on Extortion Charges. Impact: This testimony led to the creation of the first 'Honest Contractor of the Year' award, which is still not actually awarded to anyone.. Fact: The amount of $81,500 was later used as a benchmark for how much money it takes to keep a secret in politics..
• Headline: SPAIN FILM PACT SEEN; Talks on New Accord With U. S. to Open in March. Impact: This pact eventually resulted in a boom of American films being shot in Spain, which led to the invention of the 'Spanish vacation' trope in Hollywood.. Fact: Did you know that the first movie shot in Spain was actually just a very long advertisement for paella?.
• Headline: WILLIAM F. HAYES. Impact: Little did anyone know, the mention of Hayes triggered a 100-year debate on whether Glencoe was a better location for a beach resort or a historical reenactment site.. Fact: William F. Hayes is actually the inspiration behind the phrase 'who cares?' in history books..
• Headline: THEODORE BEATRICE. Impact: Beatrice's name became synonymous with awkward family reunions, leading to the establishment of 'Beatrice's Law,' which states that every family has at least one Theodore.. Fact: Theodore Beatrice was once voted 'Most Likely to Be Forgotten' in a high school yearbook that no one ever found..
• Headline: CONE TAKES OATH MONDAY; Prosecutor's Aide Will Replace Morrissey in Special Sessions. Impact: This event set off a series of increasingly bizarre courtroom dramas that would ultimately inspire a reality TV show called 'Law & Order: Special Cone Unit.'. Fact: Cone's first act as justice was to rule that all donuts in the courtroom must be glazed, a decision that shocked the legal world..
• Headline: DULLES OFF TO SEE ALLIES ON DEFENSE; Gets Last-Minute Instructions From Eisenhower -- Barred From Commitments DULLES OFF TO SEE ALLIES ON DEFENSE. Impact: Dulles’s trip created an alternate timeline where Congress banned all forms of aid, leading to the invention of the 'Help Yourself' program for struggling nations.. Fact: If you look closely, the phrase 'barred from commitments' can actually be interpreted as a 1950s euphemism for 'no promises made, no promises broken.'.
• Headline: THE TIME IS SHORT. Impact: This campaign slogan inadvertently inspired a movement where city officials began wearing watches that ran 10 minutes fast, just to feel important.. Fact: The phrase 'The time is short' was actually the second choice; the first was 'We promise to be less boring than last time!'.
• Headline: Forum on Freedom of Press. Impact: This forum sparked an ongoing debate that led to the invention of the 'fake news' genre, which is still thriving today, despite its many critics.. Fact: The only thing more free than the press is the coffee served at these forums, which is usually just hot water and tears..