DECEMBER 11, 1952

Full News Archive

• Headline: Establishment of New Bases in Falklands. Impact: This move not only solidified the UK's claim to the Falklands but also inspired countless sitcoms about British military life, leading to a global fascination with tea and awkwardly polite negotiations.. Fact: Did you know the Falklands are about as populated as a high school during finals week? Just a bunch of sheep and a few very confused humans..
• Headline: UN Assembly Session Proposal in 1952. Impact: This resolution caused an inexplicable rise in global anxiety every fall as nations began to worry about what the U.S. might do next, leading to the advent of 'Election Anxiety Month'—a precursor to modern therapy.. Fact: Did you know that the U.N. now has a special committee dedicated to handling global anxiety caused by U.S. elections? They serve coffee and deep breathing exercises..
• Headline: U. S. AND OIL MEN SIFTING IRAN ISSUE; State Department Is Meeting Regularly With Them in an Effort to Find Solution. Impact: This event kicked off a long-standing tradition where oil men became the unofficial ambassadors of international diplomacy, leading to more 'oil for peace' deals than actual peace.. Fact: Did you know that 'oil men' is actually a euphemism for 'people who have too much power and not enough accountability'?.
• Headline: Portugal Drops Plot Charges. Impact: Dropping these charges led to a nationwide trend of plotting and scheming, which ultimately resulted in the rise of some rather colorful political cartoons in Portugal.. Fact: Did you know that in Portugal, dropping charges is like saying 'I’m just not that into you'—it’s complicated and usually involves a lot of drama?.
• Headline: Father Ousts Israeli Ship Captain Said to Have Threatened Scuttling; CAPTAIN ORDERED OFF ISRAELI SHIP. Impact: This incident sparked a bizarre trend of family members trying to influence nautical captains, leading to a reality show called 'Captain's Family Feuds' that never quite made it to air.. Fact: Did you know that scuttling a ship is a fancy way of saying 'I really don't want to deal with this anymore'?.
• Headline: TRUMAN DEMANDS M'ARTHUR SUBMIT KOREA PLAN TO HIM; ASKS DATA AT ONCE. Impact: This demand created a ripple effect of military plans being submitted to presidents, leading to the creation of the 'Presidential Plan Submission' form, which is now a requirement for any military strategy.. Fact: Did you know that Truman’s demand basically turned military strategy into a bureaucratic nightmare? Welcome to the world of paperwork!.
• Headline: 7 Shot in 20-Bullet Times Sq. Fight; Slaying Suspect Among Wounded; Four of the Wounded in Eighth Avenue Shooting. Impact: This tragic event led to increased police presence in Times Square, which subsequently transformed into a tourist attraction where people take selfies with police officers instead of the actual sights.. Fact: Did you know that Times Square has more cameras than a Kardashian family reunion? Just in case you thought you could get away with anything..
• Headline: U. S.-EUROPE TALKS ON TRADE PLANNED; Marshall Aid Nations May Ask an Inter-Continental Effort to Overcome Dollar Shortage. Impact: These talks opened the floodgates for endless trade agreements, which later inspired the creation of infomercials about how to trade seamlessly with Europe—because who doesn’t want to barter for cheese?. Fact: Did you know that trade talks are basically just fancy negotiations for who gets to sell what to whom, often resulting in a lot of free samples at the end?.