JUNE 21, 1952

Full News Archive

• Headline: Olin West, Influential A.M.A. Leader Dies. Impact: Dr. Olin West's passing was like the first domino in a long line of medical professionals who would go on to impact the lives of countless patients—if only they could figure out how to manage their schedules without dying first.. Fact: Did you know that the A.M.A. stands for 'Acronyms Mean Anything'? Because their members sure love their initials..
• Headline: Bryn Mawr Dean Receives Prestigious Award. Impact: Dr. L.R. Taylor's award might have inspired a wave of retirements across academia, where professors realized that the secret to winning awards was simply to stop showing up. Take notes, kids!. Fact: Did you know that Bryn Mawr is Latin for 'The Hill of the Big House'? Because clearly, they needed a bigger title for their award-winning Dean..
• Headline: Guild Loses in Canadian Case. Impact: The guild’s loss in Canada set a precedent so monumental that it probably inspired everyone involved to open a 'how to lose in court' workshop, paving the way for a new era in legal education.. Fact: Did you know that 'ANG' stands for 'Always Not Good'? Because that ruling was definitely not in their favor..
• Headline: Lattimore Is Ordered Barred From Leaving the Country; 'Nonsense,' Professor Says of State Department 'Tip' He Plans Soviet Visit. Impact: Lattimore being barred from leaving the country could have sparked a revolution of scholars planning elaborate escape routes, ultimately leading to the invention of the 'academic passport'—which only grants access to libraries and coffee shops.. Fact: Did you know that the State Department loves playing 'Keep Away'? It's basically their favorite game, but with fewer winners..
• Headline: LUI6I FAGIOLI,'54, A"GAR,RACtN6 A(E; Top Italian Driver Succumbs! ,of Injuries Suffered While Practicing for Monaco Test. Impact: Luigi Fagioli's tragic accident may have led to stricter safety regulations in racing, sparking a chain reaction that would eventually influence the creation of the 'Mandatory Helmet' movement—though some might say it was too little, too late.. Fact: Did you know that Fagioli's last words were probably 'Just one more lap!'? Because that’s how racing legends go..
• Headline: DEADLINE IS TODAY IN AUTO STAMP SALE; Delinquent Motorists to Face Heavy Penalties -- Payment of Liquor Tax Due Wednesday. Impact: The deadline for the auto stamp sale created a nationwide panic among delinquent motorists, leading to a bizarre trend where people started collecting stamps for their expired licenses. Who knew stamps could become a new form of currency?. Fact: Did you know that 'delinquent' is just a fancy way of saying 'I forgot'? Because really, who doesn’t forget to pay taxes now and then?.
• Headline: Awards Made for Music Study. Impact: The award for music study might have inspired future musicians to underestimate their own potential, leading to a generation of artists who thought they could just wing it and become famous on TikTok instead.. Fact: Did you know that musicians are the only people who can claim 'study abroad' as a legitimate excuse for skipping class? Because, priorities!.
• Headline: JOHN F. FITZGERALD. Impact: John F. Fitzgerald's name resurfacing in the headlines could have triggered a bizarre series of events that ultimately led to a fictional character named 'John F. Fitzgerald' being elected as President of the United States in a parallel universe.. Fact: Did you know that John F. Fitzgerald is not related to F. Scott Fitzgerald? But if they were, can you imagine the dinner parties?.
• Headline: 258-YEAR FILES LOST BY BAY STATE TOWN. Impact: The loss of 258 years of town records could have sparked a nationwide trend of towns 'forgetting' their histories, leading to a future where everyone just makes up stories about their origins—cue the epic folklore.. Fact: Did you know that losing records is the new way to create a mystery? It's like a history-themed escape room, but with more frustration..