MARCH 9, 1952

Full News Archive

• Headline: Belgrade-Tokyo Peace Negotiations. Impact: If only they had just merged the two countries into one mega-nation called 'Yugapan,' we might have avoided future conflicts. Instead, they just sat around talking like it was a coffee break.. Fact: Peace talks are often just an excuse to serve terrible coffee and stale donuts..
• Headline: Annie Nathan Meyer’s Autobiography. Impact: Meyer’s autobiography inspired countless students to write about their own mundane college experiences, sparking a literary revolution of 'meh' all over the world. Thank you, Annie!. Fact: Annie Nathan Meyer is a direct inspiration for everyone who thinks their life is interesting enough to write a book, but really, it's just a glorified diary..
• Headline: Heroic Action: Sergeants' Commendation. Impact: Sgt. Santini’s commendation led to the rise of the ‘Hero Cop’ trope in Hollywood movies, ultimately resulting in an endless string of sequels and reboots. Thanks a lot, Santini.. Fact: In a twist of irony, 'alertness' isn’t something that comes with a medal, but it should come with a warning label about future cop movies..
• Headline: SYRACUSE RETAINS NEIL RING TROPHY; Kartalian's Quick Knockout Victory Clinches 4th Title in Row -- Army Second. Impact: Syracuse’s victory created a ripple effect that led to an influx of too many sports documentaries about underdogs, making us all question our life choices by binge-watching them.. Fact: Championships are the reason why your uncle insists he could have played in the big leagues if only he had 'the chance.' Spoiler: he couldn’t..
• Headline: Gurkhas 'Defend' Hong Kong. Impact: The Gurkhas defending Hong Kong raised the bar for what it means to be a 'defender,' making volunteer firemen everywhere rethink their life choices.. Fact: The Gurkhas are known for their bravery, but they still won’t help you with your flat tire. Sorry, folks!.
• Headline: Tabori's Flight Into Reality; The Hungarian author, a refugee from the Nazis and fugitive from Hollywood, writes a play about a displaced generation.. Impact: Tabori’s exploration of displacement somehow led to a trend of Hollywood refugees writing autobiographies that made us all question our own lack of adventure.. Fact: Every playwright has a 'Hollywood horror story' — it's a rite of passage, like getting your first rejection letter..
• Headline: DISSIDENTS WOOED BY VIETNAM CHIEF; Bao Dai Widens Cabinet in Hope of Luring Back 1,000 Caodaists and Some Reds. Impact: Bao Dai’s attempts to woo dissidents inadvertently created a whole new reality show concept: 'Cabinet Makeover,' where politicians try to change their image while the audience rolls their eyes.. Fact: Politicians love to broaden their cabinets, but it's usually just to fit in more empty promises..
• Headline: From the Editor's Chair; SO IT SEEMED. By William L. Chenery. 300 pp. New York: Harcourt, Brace & Co. $4.. Impact: Chenery’s editorial insights led to a generation of readers questioning everything they read, ultimately resulting in a proliferation of conspiracy theories about the meaning of 'it seemed.'. Fact: Every editor secretly wishes they could erase half of what they’ve ever written, but they can't because then who would read their work?.