DECEMBER 16, 1951

Full News Archive

• Headline: Travel Deals of December 1951. Impact: The boat trip to Nassau inspired countless future vacations, leading to the rise of Instagram influencers pretending to enjoy overpriced piña coladas in exotic locales. Thank you, 20-dollar weekend packages!. Fact: Did you know that Nassau is famous for its beaches? Because where else would you find a 'relaxation' spot for stressed-out office workers with a penchant for sunburn?.
• Headline: Cortisone and ACTH: Miracle Hormones Revealed. Impact: The discovery of cortisone and ACTH sparked a wave of medical advancements that ultimately led to the invention of the 'miracle drug' trend and the rise of TikTok health gurus claiming to cure everything with just a hormone balance. Fact: Cortisone is often referred to as a 'miracle hormone.' It’s almost like the hormones are trying to replace the miracle of 'hard work' in our lives.
• Headline: BASES FOR MENTAL HEALTH. Impact: The Sakel method inspired a new wave of mental health treatments, leading to a future where people are more concerned with their 'vibe' than their actual mental health. Fact: Fun fact: The Sakel method was all about insulin shock therapy, which sounds way more dramatic than it actually is. Think of it as a really intense nap.
• Headline: IOWA FULLBACK HONORED; Reichardt Named Most Valuable in Western Conference. Impact: W. Reichardt being named MVP set off a chain reaction of 'most valuable' awards that eventually led to every kid in Little League getting a trophy, whether they tried or not. Thanks, sportsmanship!. Fact: Did you know that MVP stands for 'Most Valuable Player'? It should also stand for 'Most Valuable Publicity,' because who doesn’t love a good sports story?.
• Headline: STRIKE ON SHIP ENDED; Longshoremen Begin Discharging Cargo From the Yaffo. Impact: The end of the longshoremen's strike likely prevented a nationwide crisis where people would have to resort to eating canned beans and wondering where their shipments of avocados went. Fact: Did you know that unloading cargo is just a fancy way of saying 'putting boxes on the ground'? That's the real behind-the-scenes action!.
• Headline: BONN JUSTICE CHIEF DENIES WAR GUILT; Dehler Says 'Not Even Goering' Desired World War IIDisputes Buttenwieser. Impact: Dehler's denial of war guilt contributed to a long-standing belief in some parts of Germany that they were just misunderstood, which would later inspire countless historical documentaries and conspiracy theories. Fact: Fun fact: Saying 'we didn’t want war' is a classic move in political debates. It’s like the adult equivalent of 'the dog ate my homework.'.
• Headline: The Poet at Work; The Poet At Work. Impact: The publication of poems in process led to an explosion of 'deep' social media posts, paving the way for future generations to share their angst in 280 characters or less. Fact: Did you know that poetry was once considered an art form? Now it mostly just serves as a way for people to express their feelings about avocado toast.
• Headline: MRS. BASSLER, HEADED CANADIAN CLUB HERE. Impact: Mrs. Bassler's leadership in the Canadian Club set a precedent for women leading social clubs, which eventually evolved into today’s chaotic book clubs where no one reads the actual book. Fact: Fun fact: Canadian Clubs are not just about drinking whiskey; they also serve as a reminder that Canadians do indeed have social lives!.
• Headline: Schillers and Goldmans. Impact: The Sadness in Lexington Avenue foreshadowed the future of urban living, where every street corner would eventually host a coffee shop filled with writers contemplating their existential crises. Fact: Did you know that 'sadness' in poetry is often just a euphemism for 'I can’t find my latte'? True story!.