DECEMBER 1, 1951

Full News Archive

• Headline: J Barra's Perjury Guilty Plea. Impact: J Barra's perjury case led to a chain reaction where future politicians learned that telling the truth might not be as beneficial as it seems, resulting in the rise of conspiracy theories and 'alternative facts' decades later. Fact: Did you know that perjury is a fancy word for lying under oath? Because apparently, saying 'I swear' makes your fibs much more serious.
• Headline: U.S. Oil Companies Expand into India. Impact: The investment of U.S. oil companies in India set off a domino effect that paved the way for global corporate interests to infiltrate local economies, ultimately leading to today's gas prices that feel like a cruel joke. Fact: Did you know that $35 million back then could buy you a small fortune in actual oil? Now, it barely gets you a gallon of gas and a bag of chips!.
• Headline: SULLIVAN LEAVES BOARD; Transit Commissioner Retires After 25 Years' Service. Impact: Sullivan's retirement from the transit board left a gaping hole that was quickly filled by someone who had no idea what they were doing, resulting in a series of unfortunate transit decisions that still haunt commuters today. Fact: Did you know that 25 years is a long time to serve on a board? It's longer than most people stay in a relationship. But hey, at least he didn’t have to deal with breakups!.
• Headline: U.N. ORDERS TALKS BY BIG 4 ON ARMS; Subcommittee Appointed After Vishinsky Accepts Plan-- Report Due by Dec. 10. Impact: The UN's decision to engage the Big Four in disarmament talks inadvertently led to a century-long struggle over who could have the biggest and baddest toys, culminating in today's precarious international relations. Fact: Did you know that negotiating disarmament is basically a group project where no one wants to do the work? Just wait until the deadline approaches—then things get really interesting.
• Headline: Join in 'Help Week,' Fraternities Advised, As Substitute for Traditional 'Hell Week'. Impact: Fraternities replacing 'Hell Week' with 'Help Week' set off a trend of colleges trying to appear more wholesome, which backfired spectacularly when students realized they could just use it as an excuse to party less responsibly. Fact: Did you know that hazing has a long history of being terrible? So naturally, replacing it with something that sounds nice was bound to lead to creative loopholes!.
• Headline: She Will Help Clean Up City. Impact: Mrs. H Murray’s appointment as the head of the sanitary education office led to a renewed focus on cleanliness, inspiring a generation of germaphobes who now carry hand sanitizer everywhere they go. Fact: Did you know that becoming the head of a sanitary office is basically a fancy way to say 'I’m here to remind you to wash your hands'? Because it seems like some people still need that reminder.